I feel like I screw up a lot by overthinking things, and when I feel like I’m being judged by a family member, I turn into a clam. I don’t say much and it annoys them. I feel insecure about my decisions all the time, am I making the right one, is that person going to be grumpy at me if I want to do it differently. I’ve been actually going out with friends and doing things for myself lately and I never used to do this. But now my mother and I don’t see eye to eye anymore, it makes daily life really awkward.
Id love to know how others cope with this and how to build self confidence?? I want to be able to speak my mind and not care what others think.... God I don’t want to be rude or selfish. Thanks.
Hey @Mara, Welcome to RO!
It sounds like you're dealing with some pretty frustrating emotions right now. It really can be so hard sometimes to speak up for what you want and what you think, and so easy to kick yourself for your choices.Do you feel judged a lot by your family for what you say?
I'm glad to hear you've been able to do things with friends and for you recently though! Does it feel like something's changed there?
My advice for building self-confidence is super cheesy (warning you in advance) but i've found it helpful to find traits/strengths/quirks that i like about myself and using them as a sort of foundation, you know? It helps make me feel good about myself as a person and nurtures my self-confidence. Also pretty helpful for combating negative thoughts too
Do you think that could be helpful for you too? I know different things work for different people though!
Thank you for responding, I’m very grateful. That does sound like some really good advice, I’ll give it a go. It’s so easy to spiral down the negative side of things and trying to believe that I can have my own opinion and voice it, is actually ok.
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Hey @Mara sounds like you've been having a pretty tough time lately
I think feeling confident in your decisions and building self-confidence in general is an ongoing journey that we can work towards. Like @ecla34 mentioned, I also find thinking about or writing down positive traits I identify with to be really helpful for this. I also make sure I'm prioritising some hobbies/activities that I enjoy doing and make me feel good about myself. This article also has some tips on building confidence if you want to check it out.
What things do you think might work for you to build your confidence up?
Thank you. I’m alright. I’m going to try and face my fears and talk, without getting emotional and or close up. Just thinking about this makes me anxious. But I need to do this. Writing things down has helped. And being more positive towards myself. xx
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Hey @Mara Thank you for checking back in.
Sounds like you've done some really great things to help you manage everything! Journalling can be very therapeutic and it makes me so happy to hear you are being kinder to yourself .
Is there anyone in particular you are going to talk with about this?
Hope to hear from you soon
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