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Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

Hey @Bee , thanks for reaching out in this thread - did you read up over what you'd written a few months ago? I wonder if it was helpful at all reading over your own words about the journey of recovery, and the up, down, all around, nature of it? 


I can hear the place you're in.. and I can totally relate to it myself. The cycle of no motivation is a really quick one to fall into, and a hard one to get out of. 

What you said about staying in bed one day, and then it becoming a habit, I find interesting.. it is of course something that could easily happen. 

But the opposite is true too - if you get up one day at a reasonable time, and start a morning routine (it can be anything.. making breakfast, washing face, walking outside and looking at the sky for a few minutes.. reading a few pages of a book..) - whatever the routine is, once you've done it a few times, it will also become a habit.

The best way I know to break lack of motivation, is to do an action FIRST and wait for the motivation to arrive later. 


One of the best lessons I've learnt in my mental health journey is that motivation follows action - action does not follow motivation. Which is counter intuitive, but true.

The other thing I would say about all of this, is that a day off, and rest, is really important. But it has to be categorised as that in your mind to be effective...

These days I am really intentional about my self - care.  If I want a day of rest, I schedule in a sleep-in for a particular day, and maybe plan one or two nice things to do on that day -  order food, walk to a cafe for a coffee, spend a bit of time cleaning.. whatever it is that will help me to feel like I've engaged in self-care, and not just avoided doing other things in my life.. and thus feeling shitty and lazy. 
That way, you can have your day off from your responsibilities, and not feel horrible about it (because it was planned). In fact you might feel a little buzz of achievement from doing some nice things for yourself. 

For me cleaning my room is an act of self-care, because i know that i feel much more at peace when it's tidy! 


I hope something in this ramble helps.. !
I'm trying to say a little bit of "just do it" - nike style, and a little something about the power of re-framing things in your mind so that they work WITH you not against you.



Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

@Shadow doing one section at a time is a good idea! I have draws inside part of my cupboard Smiley Happy But I also have a lot of other stuff in my cupboard too which limits space for clothes Smiley Tongue

@gina-RO I have read over it, part of me wonders what happened to that side of me, it's like I'm struggling to access that part of me...
YESS! The whole issue of motivation following action is counter-intuitive! But I like how you've put it as doing it before you have a chance to think, and allowing the motivation to come after.
Scheduling of self-care in that way is a good idea - it's something I kinda struggle within the sense that I'll spend the day just chilling - colouring and resting, and I tell myself it's self-care and I'm looking after my foot while it hurts etc, but I still feel like I've been unproductive. It's like my brain just won't fully cooperate.
I definitely need to work more on reframing things to work WITH me...

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

@Bee At least you know that part of you exists, and that if you were that way once, you can be that way again! 


And yes the reframing has to work for you  - if you feel like you've been lazy and unproductive, maybe you need a different kind of self-care activity. 

Maybe doing an hour or two on the forums is a form of self-care for you! Or maybe applying for a job is a self-care activity! You can schedule in those things too. 


With the action and then motivation stuff - it's very true that you need to act before you start to think too much. 

Which is why morning routines are really powerful because they get you moving first thing in the morning, and once you've done a few things in the morning, you feel more motivated to continue. When i used to exercise in the mornings, i would leave my runners and work out clothes by my bed, so that as soon as my alarm went off I would absent-mindedly put them all on and before I even knew what was happening, I'd be out the door.


My morning routine at the moment is  - 6.30am, alarm goes off. Go make a coffee, and breakfast, put on  a podcast, jump in the shower, put on my clothes, and walk to the train station! It takes me about an hour and a half because i'm VERY slow in the mornings, but I actually really look forward to my podcasts, and my coffee! There is no need for my brain to engage much while this is happening because it's the same every day. 

Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

@gina-RO That is so true! I know that part of me is in there somewhere, it's linked with that insightful part of my mind which seems to be kinda hiding at the moment...
I've definitely got some things to work on. I might have a look at my self-care and see what I can change Smiley Happy

I love how you said you would absent-mindedly put them on and be out the door before you knew what was happening Smiley Tongue I can't do that right now as absent-mindedness ends up doing something silly to hurt my foot, but alas I'm progressing in the recovery Smiley Happy

I need to get into a morning routine... I think I'll focus on that first

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

I just wanted to pop on here and say you are all amazing and incredibly strong beings Heart
Very inspiring

Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

Wondering how everyone is going woth their journey to well being? Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

The idea of letting yourselves do it before you have the chance to even think about it is really intriguing! I find this really common in our lives, even when we try to wake up early in the morning  (we just have to wake up within that 5 seconds, or we'll start thinking of excuses to go back to sleep) XD ! 

Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

just had a read over the thread again ! you guys  are so inspiring !! Heart


oh god @gina-RO i get up at 6ammmm tiring i must say ! Smiley Indifferent

Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

This thread needs some more love...


I've felt some more sadness recently and some of it has felt reallly hard to break free from, and I know it's such a common thing with mental health, so I wanted to check in with people and ask what do you do when an emotion feels super big and heavy?

There are helplines and self-care plans/ safety plans we can use, but what about when these aren't feeling like an option or we've tried them all and still feeling sad? I know it happens, it's part of life.


One thing I've found super helpful when feelings are feeling so big and huge and taking up all of my energy, is validation from others, sometimes this might come from friends in conversation, or I might go to a helpline (My go to right now is KHL webchat) and I might put in the questionnaire that I need to be heard or validated. For me, that enables me to get the support or love I need without having to directly ask for it using words Smiley Happy


Your turn community: what do you do when an emotion feels super big and heavy?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Recovery; our journey to well being

when emotions get super big and heavy ill talk to khl and my counsellor always makes a joke or something to help me Smiley Happy RO as well when i just need to talk out something that’s on my mind. when things are super heavy it’ll usually be contacting G and whatever happens from there !


i agree with you ! Heart @Bee