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Relationship advice

Hello, everyone! I am a new user and I thank you for taking the time to answer my question. 

There is this girl that I know who has been going through some rough times and I really want to help her, but the problem is that she doesn't tell me anything and won't try to get together to talk.  Any Advice? 

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Re: Relationship advice

Hi @Jaredlange1

 

It's very nice of you to be caring for your friend in times of need. Sometimes people just might not want to speak about things and we can't force them to. All we can do is to offer our support and if they want to talk then they will reach out to you. If you keep on pushing she might respond however the more likely result is that she will withdraw even further. Let her know that you're there for her and check up on with a simple how are you every couple of days. 

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Re: Relationship advice

Hi @Jaredlange1 and welcome!! I think it is amazing you are concerned about your friend and it is clear you care a lot about her!

I think some people find it a lot more harder to open up and trust people than other people do and there is usually always a reason behind this, whether it is they never really had anyone to talk to growing up or they may have opened up in the past to have it not end so well.

I think the most you can do is to simply talk to her and let her know how you feel, that you are concerned and that you have noticed she is going through a really hard time and you really want to help. Let her know that you will be here when she is ready to talk and you will continue to support her even if she isn't or encourage her to talk to another trusted individual.

I think maybe even asking and trying to find out the reasons why she may be afraid to open up will help you understand her more and show you how to best approach this. E.g. If she is afraid telling you about her issues will drag you down, reassure her they will not (many people also tend to think this way, especially in times of feeling down).

 

What do you think about this? Don't forget to make sure you're looking after yourself too!

 

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Re: Relationship advice

Thank you for the response. I tired to let her know that I am there for her, but she blow me off by saying "that's what they all say". How do I show her that I am sincere and really want to help her? 

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Re: Relationship advice

Hey @Jaredlange1! It's so great that you're ready to help your friend while she's going through a tough time, but as you mentioned it can be hard to get friends to understand that you're being sincere. I think some really great advice has been given in this thread already, and I just want to add that it's important that you emphasise that you're going to be there to support her without being too pushy. 

We have a few resources on supporting friends even when they aren't willing to take it on if you'd like to have a look Smiley Happy

Let us know how it goes!

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Re: Relationship advice

Hey @Jaredlange1,

The others have definitely given some great advice here and I agree, it's awesome you care so much about your friend.
From my experience, I would just say to be consistent. Similar to what @safari93 said, checking in on your friend, letting her know you're there for her, but don't push her to talk if she doesn't want to. It can be a massive step for somebody to open up and sometimes it will take some time for them to be comfortable enough to do so.

Let us know how you go!
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Re: Relationship advice

Ok, thank you guys so much. I will try my best, but if you come up with anything else please let me know
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Re: Relationship advice

Hey @Jaredlange1, I think the others are right in being careful not to push too hard as that is also important as it shows you respect her space.
It sounds like she's tried opening up and trusting a few people in the past for support and they have ended up not sticking around or being there when she needed. I think you can show her you are different by doing what you are already doing and keep letting her know you are here for when she is ready to talk and as @Sunflower18 has said, keep checking in on her so she knows you really are there for her and do really care. Little things like that can mean so much to someone and show so much more than words! Your friend may need a lot of time so don't give up on her!
But it sounds like your friend is very lucky to have you! Smiley Happy
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Re: Relationship advice

Hi and welcome I only just joined.

It’s very kind of you 2 do this for your friend and if you want to help, do it slowly so don’t keep annoying her about it but keep an eye on her so you can make sure that she is ok and stay close so you know when it is really making her upset. Also make sure that your prepared to help her. That probably all the advice I could give you.