Hi @JonoG!
That sounds really tough. 
I was also raised as a Christian and struggled with a lot religious anxiety growing up too. I have learned that it is possible to develop your own beliefs and incorporate different aspects of your religion into your worldview. This can become easier as you experience new things and mature. I know a lot of Christians who believe in theories such as the big bang rather than literal creationism as depicted in the Bible, but are able to think about it in a way that can still fit in with their beliefs. For example, they can choose to believe that God created the particle that led to the big bang (sorry if my understanding of this theory is a bit rusty).
I think it would be really cool if reincarnation was possible. We don't know that it's definitely not a possibility. Nobody really knows what happens we die. Additionally, not all Christians believe in the concept of heaven or the afterlife. Some of my family members believe that my great uncle is 'sleeping' until he can eventually reunite with his loved ones in paradise after they have all lived out their lives, or at least this was how I remember them explaining it to me when he died. One of my other family members is a Christian and does not believe in the existence of heaven.
