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Sexuality...what?

Hi.. so for a couple of months now I’ve been questioning my sexuality. I think I might be bi, but I don’t know. I’m also worried if I do end up coming out as bi, but then it turns out I was straight people will be like “attention seeker”. I think another part of it is that I’m sort of denying if I am bi because bi doesn’t really seem like ‘me’? That probably doesn’t make sense...I’m so confused! Halp 

Re: Sexuality...what?

Also I’m new here so if I did something wrong I’m sorry Smiley Sad

Re: Sexuality...what?

hi @Ummmm_what and welcome to you.
to me labels aren't important and also allows for more change rather then being set in stone. that fear is totally understandable for sure.
I too am questioning my sexuality and believe I am Bi too but I haven't come out to anyone and like you im honestly not really sure.
Would you like to share abit more about why you think your Bi? has something happened more recently to make you question it?


@WheresMySquishy @Hozzles @DruidChild @Bre-RO @N1ghtW1ng @Esperanza67 may be able to
share some more advice too
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Sexuality...what?

Hey @Ummmm_what 

 

Welcome to the forums Smiley Happy.  It sounds like you're going through a period of discovery.  It is both brave of you, yet normal to go through a stage where we question our sexuality.  It's all part of the process of discovering ourselves.  The things that seem like 'me' can fluctuate and change during this period so please don't worry about it.  Heart.  Have you thought about speaking to someone about this?  If you would like to, please try Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.  They have trained counsellors operating 24/7 to listen to you.  They also have a webchat service here  .

 

Of course, we are here to support you too!

Re: Sexuality...what?

Hi @Ummmm_what! Welcome to the forums! It's really brave of you to post here, especially at a time you're feeling so unsure!

It's totally normal to be questioning your sexuality, though it doesn't make the process any easier. To bounce off what @scared01 suggested (thanks for tagging me!) there are definitely pros and cons to having a set label for yourself. While a pro is having a better understanding of yourself and gaining a sense of community, finding an accurate label that fits you can sometimes be a challenge.

I also understand your worry that if you were to identify as bi, then it might one day not fit as much. A lot of people change the label they identify with as aspects of their life change. Sexuality can be regarded as 'fluid' and may change over time, or certain situations may allow you to gain a better sense of who you are. For example growing up with anxiety made me feel as if I had to repress my sexuality, causing me to identify as asexual most of my teenage years. After I got some help for my anxiety and stopped repressing my sexuality, I learnt more about myself and started identifying as gay. I see these periods of my life as being equally valid -- I wasn't 'lying' about myself, I was simply choosing the labels that best fit my feelings. If you decide to identify as bi now then later decide it's not for you, it necessarily doesn't mean you 'lied' about being bi!

I was wondering if you had any supports (a trusted friend, a psychologist, etc) you could talk to about this? @TOM-RO's suggestion of calling Kids Help Line is a good starting point! I also recommend visiting Q-Life, which has a lot of resources for young people regarding sexuality and offers both web and phone support!

Re: Sexuality...what?

Thanks so much for replying @scared01 ! It’s great to hear from someone who is in a similar situation.  
I am a girl and I have been attracted to boys a lot with minor crushes and thinking they’re cute sort of thing and wanting to date them. But then I started to think that girls are also really pretty and I noticed their appearance more often. That’s when I started to question my sexuality. At first it was just like “am I bi???”... “OMG I can’t believe I thought I was bi! I’m so straight lol.” ... “wait.. nah”. But then I started to get closer with this girl in my friend group and now I notice when she’s not there and I miss her 😬 I love talking to her and like ‘I really want to be friends with herTM but I’m already her friend sooo basically I think I may have a crush on her ._. 

Re: Sexuality...what?

Thanks for replying @TOM-RO Smiley Happy I probably will talk to them at some point, I just don’t know when I’ll have the opportunity to have some private time where no one can hear me talk.

Re: Sexuality...what?

hey @Ummmm_what
if you put an @ before the members name itll tag them for you Smiley Happy
I am a girl too, I am mostly attracted to males but I also get attracted to female personalities.
its perfectly natural to question your sexuality esp when you start having different sorts of feelings of the same gender. for me it took abit of thinking about and still do. sometimes im purely attracted to girls because of their personality like they are really kind and funny etc but then there are times when the feelings are much stronger and theres a big part of me that wouldn't mind being more then a friend.

Qlife also has a chat so its just like talking here. I don get any privacy to contact helplines etc so having the webchat makes it heaps easier as I can contact them while im in bed. they are really good at these things too and how also to approach that person if you were to try and take that next step.

As this is really new to you, its worth seeing how your feelings progress and if its more of a friendship that your after or is it something more you crave...
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**
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Re: Sexuality...what?

Thanks for clearing up about the fluidity of sexual identity stuff @Hozzles , I didn’t really know.

I have a really good friendship group and I tell them lots of stuff. But I just don’t know how they’d react to this. It’s not like I get homophobic vibes or anything like from them, I just feel like they’d view me differently and maybe not be as comfortable around me. I don’t have a psychiatrist or anything like that so I’ll probably check those resources out. This felt really good to get it off my chest, and I really want to tell one of my friends but I don’t know if I can.

Re: Sexuality...what?

@scared01 thanks for telling me about the tagging thing, I didn’t realise 😅

Q life sounds like a helpful resource, thanks! I’ll wait a while before I decide to tell anyone about my crush to see if it really is a crush, but I really want to tell someone about what I’m going through in general. I’m probably just going to blurt it out 🙄