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So something happened a couple of days ago now that I'd like to discuss

Hi everyone, 

 

I always love talking about the issues I face because I find it is the best way to approach my issues - that and I have been reminded many times throughout my life that it is a very good idea to talk about your problems. Without further adieu let me share what has happened: 

 

Early one morning I recieved a text message from a girl I recently became friends with and she explained to me she no longer wanted to be my friend anymore. Initially I felt a little upset, disappointed I guess. I wondered why (I mean who wouldn't!) and it sucked. But it didn't totally break my spirit - I was walking down the street at the time, on my way to uni when I read the message. And I had plenty of time to think it over and I did my best to just remain positive about it all - and I really do suspect that made a big difference! I kept the inner dialogue in my head as positive as possible, I said things to myself like: don't blame yourself, it isn't necessarily your fault, there could be various reasons why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. Various reasons that I am not privy to. And I just reminded myself of another time where this kind of thing happened, one other time I lost a friend and it was hard to deal with - but in the end I got through it, and my life returned to normal! I found it was pretty helpful to think about that - because in a way I had solid evidence I guess you could say that I overcame it. 

 

Today I still feel a little bad about it, the things I am worried about now pretty much boil down to what if I see her on campus at uni again. What will I do? Will I avoid her and just make things worse? 

 

Has this kind of thing happened to you? What did you do, how did you learn from the experience? That is, losing friends throughout life. Feel free to share!

Re: So something happened a couple of days ago now that I'd like to discuss

Ugh, losing friends is not fun. You're probably right that it's not necessarily your fault. I've found that it's usually outside circumstances. If you see her on campus, I would just smile and say hello, then keep walking if that feels like the appropriate thing to do Smiley Happy

Re: So something happened a couple of days ago now that I'd like to discuss

Yeah, it really isn't fun. But I try to think of this as a "one door closes, another door opens" kind of thing. And perhaps they weren't meant to be - I still have friends!

Re: So something happened a couple of days ago now that I'd like to discuss

Hey @Super_Me

 

Just wanted to say a big well done on keeping a positive mindframe about the whole situation. 

 

Losing friends is a natural part of life. There are many reasons as to why someone would like to end a friendship and most of the time we will never find out the real reason. Just like you and @roseisnotaplant said, it isn't necessarily your fault. What to do from here is completely up to you, whether you dwell on it or not. But I recommend from past experiences not to dwell on the reason why and just accept that the friendship is over. I have done the other and it has eaten me up inside and snowballed into a bigger deal than it was.

 

I hope my ramblings helped,

 

stonepixie

 


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: So something happened a couple of days ago now that I'd like to discuss

Your ramblings did help! They made a lot of sense indeed. I don't want to dwell on it - and I'm not really! I'm focussing on my studies and hoping that will block it out.

Re: So something happened a couple of days ago now that I'd like to discuss

Hello, @Super_Me!

 

It sounds like you have a pretty great attitude. I agree that positive self-talk makes a world of difference!

 

From time to time, I too become worried about running into people I've known previously. It has helped me to accept that crossing paths with people is as an inevitable and unavoidable part of life. Instead of getting caught up in anxious streams of thought, I try to plan that when it happens, I will be polite but limit the interaction as much as possible so I can go on with my day/life. @roseisnotaplant's suggestion sounds like the kind of thing I'm thinking of. I've found that having a small plan like that can help the situation feel more in your control. Smiley Very Happy

Re: So something happened a couple of days ago now that I'd like to discuss

Hi @Super_Me!
Can I just say, you took a sucky situation and made it into a positive experience that you were able to grow from! 
How are you feeling about everything now?