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Re: Social Isolation

Hi @Bento 


Thank you for sharing. I hope you don't mind but I have had to remove part of your post about your story. Even though you are describing fiction, some of the themes are still quite violent and may be triggering for readers, hence removing it. 


It's really good that you are feeling motivated to write though! You come across as quite articulate over the forums, so I'm guessing you'd have no trouble writing a good story. 


Have you considered potentially searching for a forum for authors or people writing books? I'm unsure if such forums exist,  but if they do, it could be a really good place for you to express some of your ideas. On a forum like that, it's likely you'd get lots of awesome feedback too. I guess it's just a matter of whether one exists? Maybe have a look and let me know how you go?


Otherwise, we also have a writer's thread here where you can post some of your writing, so long as it's not too long and is appropriate for the forums. Smiley Happy

Re: Social Isolation

I’m very sorry if I went too far in describing my story. My biggest fear preventing me from writing again is that it will be too disturbing and triggering, and so I haven’t risked it. However there is some good news on that front; Discovery College is having a one day course on writing for mental health and self-expression that’s on in 2 weeks, and I was in time to enroll in it. I look forward to that.


These past few days I’ve been feeling very nervous, uncertain and uncomfortable again, mostly due to some recent news, but we don’t have to talk about it. November is usually a hard time for me mentally, and I think it’s because the year’s nearing it’s end and tensions are usually very high. In fact I think this might be my least favourite month of the year. Some might say it’s superstition, and maybe it is, but I still feel nervous.


But in lighter news, I’ve been focusing more on my drawing lately. I’ve always loved to draw, I don’t know if I’ve really shared that much on this site, but right now I’m building an art portfolio in the hopes that next year I can attend some events that have artist alleys where I can sell my art.

Re: Social Isolation

Hey @Bento 


Thank you for your post; it's really brave to share these things.  I'm really happy to read that you've been focusing on your drawing recently Smiley Happy and that you may be attending a writing workshop.  Thus, despite November being a tough month for you and you feeling anxious, you've still managed to do these creative things.  That's really impressive and shows real resilience.  Heart

Re: Social Isolation

A few days ago I watched an episode of Queer Eye in Japan, which I recommend for mental health support even though I’m not LGBT+ myself, and ever since then it got me thinking that I worry too much about what other people think. I don’t cope well when bad things that are completely out of my control happen, and because some bad news or something someone says can completely ruin my mood, I’m really not even in control of my happiness. These days everyone is so worried about what other people think and say that they let it get to them way too much, and they worry about toxic people that make them feel like garbage to the point where they push away the people they love. Because of this I don’t trust my own thoughts and values, because I feel like if I have an opinion that’s different from the norm than it is automatically invalid. So when I try to be positive and then everyone else is cynical and hateful, I find it so hard to rise above all the negativity.

Re: Social Isolation

Hey @Bento 


Did you like the new Queer Eye? I also watched it the other night and I think the show does raise a lot of the struggles so many people go through with their mental health. It's a wholesome show but I agree that it can get you thinking about your own vulnerabilities Heart 


I can relate to what your saying about worrying about what other people think of you. It can be so exhausting to be consumed by what other people may or may not think. I think it's important to be aware of the fact that it's a challenge you have because that's the first step towards letting it go. Have you ever spoken to a friend or family member about it? 


You sound like the type of person who strives to see the good and positivity in the world Heart It's okay to not always feel positive though - that is also a part of life. 

Re: Social Isolation

At the moment I’m looking at getting work somewhere; just retail work, not something I wanna do for a living but I’ll be happy to do that just so I can be working and maybe socializing more. I’m also looking at TAFE courses in art. I went to one info session the other week and there’s another one on a different course next month. I hope I can study one of those courses next year, and I also hope I’ll be able to persist and do well in the course. It would also be nice to meet someone I can be friends with in a course so I can share my work and connect with them over the interests we both have.

Lately because of some recent news from the other day I’ve been feeling worried and upset again. And tonight I’ve been thinking, this year has been very frustrating for me a lot of times. I’ve just been so stressed and angry about so much the past year, and I wish I could be a more positive person. I see people hanging out with their friends and having fun, and those people are obviously more positive and don’t worry so much because they’re able to have more fun. Unfortunately I find it so hard to make people like me because of the social hierarchy.

I’m feeling particularly worried about the new year, because I have no idea what’s gonna happen in my life and the outside world. I’m scared of change, even if it’s change for the best, because it’s confronting and unsettling. I’d rather things stay the same because it’s safer that way. But with that attitude, I don’t know if I can truly shine next year, which is why I want to improve my attitude and productivity. So that’s why I’d like to do a course in something that brings joy (in my case, drawing) in the hopes that it can lead to good things.

Re: Social Isolation

@Bento   I think it's really great that you're making plans for the future. It's a good idea to do something that you love and are passionate about. I think doing a course can be great for making friends too. I've made some friends through courses and volunteering myself, so hopefully you can make some too. Smiley Happy
I'm sorry that this year has been so bad for you. It can be really stressful trying to work out what you want to do in the future and not knowing whether next year will be difficult too. I'm in a similar situation in my life right now and I can understand your frustration and anger. It can also be hard to adjust to a new routine.
Is there anything that has helped you when you don't have anyone you can talk to? I don't get to socialise a lot at the moment but I've found it helpful to do things that I wouldn't normally do with friends and check out some local events. Here is a great site for finding groups and events near you.

Re: Social Isolation

There's now about 2 and a half weeks left until 2019 ends, and I would feel more happy to leave the year behind, but for me it's not that easy. These past 12 months of psychological pain have really taken their toll on me, and I've tried to be positive all this time, but time and time again horrible things that I have zero control over happen and validate my fear of people. Today I went out with a guardian I've been seeing each weekend for the last 6 months or so, and I like hanging out with them because I like having someone to do things with and talk to. I was having fun for most of the day, up until the end when I just couldn't contain my sadness anymore. People are saying that there is still hope for us, but after the stuff I've seen, I'm not too convinced. I've tried to hang onto my hope for a long time now, but to see all the bitterness of people around me feels like such a slap on the face. I think I'm scared for next year. I'm not sure I want to know what's gonna happen...

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Re: Social Isolation

I feel a bit calmer now. I almost wrote something more extreme in my reply, but took a step back and realised I couldn't post that. I tend to have very big impulsive reactions, but I'm glad I could stop myself just then.

I saw another Youtuber I follow has posted a video on panic attacks. I've yet to get around to watching it, but I will soon. Here it is for anyone interested.

Re: Social Isolation

Also, the past few days I've started work on a zine to sell at a zine store as well as a zine fair I've registered for in February. It's about my favourite Japanese shops, restaurants and events in my local town. I'm taking photos of the places and writing descriptions, it's basically a little travel book, and working on it has given me something to look forward to. I'm also probably gonna have a zine on the pictures I've drawn this year.