Spending a weekend: Done right

[BunnyWalks]

Hi reach out,

I found that while living alone has its perks its also challenging. 

Lets say I want to hit the town.

On the weekends I found myself doing : 

-on FB

-Chores around the house (cleaning).

-Staying in at night cause I felt too anxious and not used to spending loads of cash on dinner or clubs or entertainment. 

-Sometimes just don't want to be seen to visibly and feel suffocated from organised activity like sport and would like to mingle on a social level. 

- Having long and unnecessary conversations with mum and dad till late 12am

- Cooking my dinners in advance. 

-feel mentally intimidated to speak to strangers.

(Malaysia has culture where majority of people are guarded) 

reasons of not wanting to leave my share house is because mum and dad some discourage me by saying Melbourne is too expensive on a weekly basis.

This lead to depravation and physical fatigue and eventually poor mental health for me personally.

 I realise in university a change environment is important .

If I know there like a short term reward I can consume,I do I noticed ill be productive and motivated to get a task done

In Melbourne I take PT  and would like to get home early as possible.

Lets say my classes end at 4pm on a Thursday and head out till 9pm.

how can make sure I try to make it home before midnight, I understand Melbourne is huge and public transport will break down making it unnecessarily stressful to go back home when it takes about 40 minutes to get back to your station.    

Does anyone know how I could manage being social ?

I have considered going out with friends with university but at some point do I have to this entirely on my own ?  

[Sunflower18]

Hey @BunnyWalks,

Taking that step out of your comfort zone and being social can be super rewarding, but can also pose some challenges. 

Just so I know I'm understanding, are you saying that you want to go out, but find yourself doing other things (such as cleaning or prepping meals) and sometimes feel too anxious to go out? And if you were to go out, ensuring you get home before midnight may be a little difficult if public transport breaks down or runs late?

[BunnyWalks]

@sunflower

Yes @sunflower I do want to go out but I don't prioritize on sociallizing as a student and do get anxious on think about rushing through the day.

What you've stated shows you've understand my obstacles. 3/3

Gold star for you.

[Sunflower18]

I can understand why socialising may not be a priority for you as a student and how it can be anxiety provoking, @BunnyWalks!

You mentioned expenses as one of the reasons you don't prioritise socialising. Is there scope for you to save a certain amount each week until you know you'd be able to afford that night out? 

Rushing for a train and making sure you get home on time can be really stressful! I'm not familiar with Melbourne, but would you be able to choose a location that is closer to a train station to reduce some of that pressure?

[BunnyWalks]

Thursday night is popular one. I can make time for that. I have 6 hours.

Yeah I can choose locations like that.

[Sunflower18]

How would you feel about choosing a Thursday into the future and working towards going out on that night, @BunnyWalks?

[BunnyWalks]

I can make time out.

I get overwhelmed if do something different every week.

I come from a regimented background and may experience guilt and adrenaline if I don't do something in my routine.

As for activities I can think of :

-Fitness class.
-Clubbing / dancing
-And just eating out .

What activities would you recommend I try to get to mingle with people @Sunflower18

[Sunflower18]

Sport has always been a big thing for me, @BunnyWalks, but it's not for everybody. I find sport has a regular training/playing schedule which helps with routine and you often share at least one common interest with the people in your team. 

I like the activities you listed. Is one of the activities on your list something you'd be able to accommodate into your routine?

Have you ever researched interest groups in your area? You mentioned you're at University, does your uni offer any clubs or societies that interest you? 

[BunnyWalks]

I've looked at clubs and am active in their social events .

I get overwhelmed with the organized nature of our activities and would like something spontaneous.

Right now I've consider joining the hockey team and participating in parties on campus.

[Sunflower18]

Hey @BunnyWalks,

The hockey team and parties on campus sounds great. How would these activities go for your routine but with some spontaneous elements? Would they be something you could pursue?