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Struggling with being Pansexual

Hey guys, I’m Pansexual and I was just wondering if y’all can help me out, I’m struggling with my sexuality, I can’t seem to talk to anyone about it, and I only have my family who support it, I have no friends, and I’m struggling with it

Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

Hi @Cheeseburger , I am sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment, but great work for coming here and talking about it. How are your feeling today? It is good you have your family support and keep talking to them about it too. It can be challenging to talk to our peers about our sexuality. I have popped two links below which I hope you will find helpful Smiley Happy. Let me know how you find them.


Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

Hey @Cheeseburger Smiley Happy


Thinking about and struggling with your sexuality is a pretty common experience a lot of us go through - I personally see it as a lifelong journey but I'm sure not everyone's experience is like that. I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with it lately Smiley Sad Have you found it helpful talking to your family about this? 


@Mcrohas shared some great RO resources - Q Life is another one you could check out if you haven't already. With so many labels out there sometimes it can feel like there's pressure to choose one you identify with and stick to it, but it is 100% okay to not have one or to change your mind at any time. Does that label feel right for you at the moment? 

Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

@May_  I do find it ok to talk to my family, but they don’t understand much about it, I’m not sure if I wanna be in a world where my friends hate me bcuz I’m not straight, I know that I am Pansexual as every one of my relationships (that always fail) I fall in love with there personality, and I lose everyone I date bcuz I’m to annoying, that’s what one of my exes said, I’m crushing on someone, he’s a transgender, but he’s not available he’s taken😒




@Mcro I’m doing ok I guess, I got my lip pierced today, so I did something for myself, but it’s late at night that I struggle the most, I go to sleep with my depressing songs playing, I relate to them a lot, and I’ll check out those links now, I’m honestly struggling with where I fit in the world, and I just wanna give up, but my mum promoted me to come on here and ask if youse could help

Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

Hey @Cheeseburger 

I'm glad to hear that you did something nice for yourself today, I'm sure that lip piercing looks smashing! Your mum also seems to be really supportive, wanting to help and understanding that there are other places to seek support.

It sucks that you feel like you want to give up. But there are lots of reasons to keep going. There are heaps of friends here who already love you for who you are and are willing to help and support you.

It's a shame your crush is unavailable but there will be heaps of others in the future as I have found in my experience.

I can kinda relate in a way.. I'm not straight either. A friend told me that I'm probably pan, same as you, and I went with it. But I don't bring it up because its confusing to a lot of people what pansexual is. There are also other aspects of me which even I think are a little messed up but I have a couple friends who love and support me no matter what and when they told me that I felt so much better. Sometimes I find it hard to feel like I fit too just because my family and my boyfriend are homophobic and often say that its just wrong to be anything other than straight which I know is not true but it still hurts coming from the people I love.


Anyway, I just want to say to keep standing tall. It's totally okay to be who you are and even to take time to figure it out and understand. You seem incredibly nice and not annoying at all, i don't know why your ex would say such a thing. Perhaps helping your family understand more about it can put them in a position to give more support? It's clear that they want to help you and that's great. I hope you feel alright and keep doing nice things for yourself. xx

Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

Hey @Cheeseburger, so cool about the lip piercing! Did it hurt a lot? Great of your mum to prompt you to come on RO and chat. Our sexuality can be difficult for us and other people to understand, particularly when we are young and still learning about ourselves and still trying to figure everything out. People tend to like to put everyone in boxes but I think our sexuality is fluid and changes, wouldn't the world be a super boring place if we were all the same?!


Have you checked those links out, what did you think? 


Keep doing things for yourself over the weekend that make you happy, do you have anything planned? 


Hope today is a good day for you!!! Smiley Happy 

Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

@Ladybug thanks and my mum is really supportive, she helps me when I’m depressed, I try not to bring up my sexuality either but they ask me why I can’t jeep a guy anymore, I’ll try standing y’all, and I am nice but ppl just don’t see it, and my ex is jealous that I’m not huritng over him anymore, and yea I’m wanting support as I only just came out to them last year, I didn’t want them to see me differently, my family I mean

Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

@Mcro  It didn’t hurt at all, I didn’t even realise it was done, and it would be boring if the world was the same.



i have checked out the links, and they have helped me a little, and I do understand things a little better.



i haven’t got anything planned for the weekend, and hopefully I can get thru this struggle I’m having Rn, but it’s hard as I wanna find someone who understands.



and todays a good day for me, I went out for waffles this morning with a family friend, and enjoyed it, and then we went shopping and I brought 2 games for my PlayStation, but other then that, I’m still having weird thoughts....I’m trying to change that but it’s not working, I can’t stop thinking about things

Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

Hey @Cheeseburger, it is great that you enjoyed your day today. It is amazing that you also have your mum as a support for when you are feeling depressed. You mentioned your friends hating you because you are not straight, is there something that has made you think they would be unsupportive of your sexuality? QLife is available if you ever need to chat about your sexuality. They are a telephone service and have really amazing resources! Heart

Re: Struggling with being Pansexual

@Taylor-RO well, I told them, that I was Pansexual, they were fine for a week and then they just suddenly stopped talking to me, one of my friends said that there parents don’t like them talking to someone who isn’t straight, and I came out to my parents last year that I wasn’t straight, it was hard to do but they support me, and they said as long as I’m happy they are, but my friends have went weird ever since I told them about me not being straight