I remember back in Primary School when all of my friends around me had crushes on boys, I had a crush on one of my friends (who was a girl).
I remember when I was about 14, my mum asked me if I was gay and instinctively I told her no when I should've said yes.
I remember not long after that, a rumour was made up at school that I liked girls and my reaction was to tell everybody I could have a boyfriend if I wanted, but chose to spend time with my dog instead
I remember when it came time for the Year 10 Dance, I made sure I went with one of my mates so I could avoid the awkwardness.
As for the Year 12 Formal, I remember spending the entire year pretending to like a guy, just so we'd go together and I wouldn't be the odd one out.
I remember coming to Uni and going out with a guy just in case I had my feelings all wrong
And when all of that pretending didn't work, I remember I came out to my mum.
But now I'm kind of stuck. I always imagined once I came out to somebody, this massive weight would be lifted off my shoulders, but instead, I just feel stuck.
Has anybody else been in a similar situation before?
Hi @Sunflower18 welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing with us. It sounds like it has been really difficult for you and you've come to the right place for some support. It's really hard when we feel like we are suppressing our true selves in fear of what others might think. You mentioned that you came out to your mum that takes a lot of courage. I'm wondering how that went? I'm going to tag some of our members for some advice around this @Andreana @Jakob @Oli68 @roseisnotaplant We're here to listen and support you
Hello @Sunflower18! And welcome to Reachout, you’ve come to a great place and we’re glad to have you here
I myself am homosexual and came out in 2016 to everyone.
Unfortunately I was bullied all my school years because people realised this, but towards the end of my schooling I realised I needed to accept who I was and to allow my identification to come out properly.
when I came out I definitely felt a relief and I have ever since. I think what’s really important is to remember to listen to your feelings, And to trust that with time and years you will learn to accept who you aren’t as a person.
It sounds very courageous of you to come out to your Mum, despite feeling stuck right now, I think you will find that being yourself around Everyone will allow you to open up more and to adjust to this person you are becoming.
i am really glad you have stopped by Reachout, this is a fantastic network and we are very glad to have you hear. I hope some of my personal experience help, but please know that a lot people feel the way you feel, so you’re definitely not alone on this one!
i havent come out myself yet, i still dont know- still exploring i guess so im not much help however i wanted to share a service that you might find helpful.. its called QLife and they support LBGTI people
Hey @Sunflower18, I can't offer any advice specific to this issue but I just wanted to restate that we're all here to support you as much as we can.
How would you feel about joining an LGBTI group at uni, or something like that?
In response to your question @Lan-RO, my mum literally said 'ok'. I think I'd made such a big deal out of hiding it for so long that I expected a bigger reaction, but that wasn't the case.
As you said @Jakob, as time progresses, I should become more comfortable within myself. Thank you also for sharing your experiences, it's awesome to hear what a relief you felt by coming out!
Thanks for the link, @scared01. It definitely is a help! I also don't think there should be any pressure for you to come out. It's your journey, so take it at whatever pace suits you best
@letitgo, I've looked into the LGBTI group at my uni, but not sure at this point. A few of my friends are involved in various capacities, so I may chat to them first. Thanks for the suggestion!