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Supporting someone else

Hey guys, 

i wanted to make this thread to chat about something that's important to me. I care a lot for my siblings and growing up I did a lot of the parenting for them. Anyway, as I've mentioned before, my littlest sister has autism and I'm learning how to support her and make suitable adjustments etc, many of my other siblings have behavioural conditions like ADHD and ODD.

it can be really hard to learn to support others when you may be dealing with some some things yourself like a mental illness for example. 

I thought this thread would be handy for us to talk about/get support/ask questions/find out some more stuff around how we support people around us who are dealing with different things. 

 

I decided this would be a good idea because I see my sister on a regular basis and find it difficult to be there for her during a meltdown and it can sometimes lead me to feel a bit like crap when I don't know what to do. 

 

 

Keep in mind though that everyone is different so some suggestions on here may not work for some individuals but there is nothing wrong with sharing Smiley Happy

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Supporting someone else

Great convo to open up @j95 well done mate. Looking forward to hearing others suggestions/experiences.

 

With your Sis.. What sort of support would you look for if you were to have a meltdown I wonder.. ?

Re: Supporting someone else

@Bree-RO hmm I'd probably want safety, ressaurance, understanding
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Supporting someone else

Nice @j95.. Reckon your sister would be similar?  Sometimes we don't have to say the right thing, but instead be present with the person Smiley Happy 

Re: Supporting someone else

yeah thats true @Bree-RO i just feel the need to help all the time ,you know? and i suppose its about having a suitable environment thats not over stimulating etc as much as it is about trying to help her when things do go bad

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Supporting someone else

@j95 so if an environment that's not too stimulating is helpful, are there ways that you could make sure she has that kind of environment?

Or is there a song or toy or something that could act like a security blanket of sorts and give your sister something to focus on if she is having a meltdown?

 

This is a great thread, by the way. It can be so tough trying to support someone else as well as ourselves and it'll be great for us all to talk it through. 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Supporting someone else

bumping this up because i've learnt some new srtuff if anyone is interested
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Supporting someone else

We are all ears @j95

Re: Supporting someone else

mostly around my sister and communicating with her in a way she understands @Bree-RO

basic stuff like getting down to her level, because she is so busy if she doesn't actually see your face and that you are talking to her she will just run off, so like you've go down to her level. and also giving her options like instead of asking something like, would you like a snack and then making up your mind for her, giving her like 2 choices. and I learnt how she'll say yes or no.

if i ask 

"would you like biscuits or a sandwich" 

if she wants the biscuits she'll look at my eyes and if she doesn't want the sandwich she'll turn her face right away from me. 

and more, we play this game, its with toy cars and they go down a ramp, she likes to watch me do it. and i noticed that she'll look at my face and sometimes touch my cheek if she wants to do it again, if she doesn't want to play she just knocks it off the table, but anyway lol

and also some stuff around recognising when she might be heading for a meltdown and what things to do 

trying out social stories too at the moment, im not sure if you know what that is, but its like using pictures to explain what we are doing and the routine so she is aware of whats happening, they use them at her school and her respite programs.

 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: Supporting someone else

its just really hard with heaps of other kids around helping with her sensory stuff because theres a lot of noise and she doesn't react very well to that, which is fairly common, i think it was last visit or maybe the time before my little brother scared her from behind, twice, and i've never heard a kid squeal so loud in my life, my ears have never been the same, and then i tried to help and she bit me. 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//