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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

also since you mentioned cute dogs @Bento 

 

golden retriever GIF

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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Thanks for the encouragement and doggo. I think one of the big problems for me is that I've become paranoid that people will deliberately go out of their way to crush people's positivity. While I can't deny there will always be people out there like that, whether they just want to lift themselves up by beating others down or it's a much more complicated, malicious reason, deep down I think the big problem is that people feel like they have to let it get them down. I've been lead to believe that most people let themselves be psychologically manipulated because they feel they're not strong enough to resist it, which is how I feel too. You don't really hear about people being more resistant towards that kind of toxicity because they don't really say anything, but we should be talking more about developing resilience to normalize that kind of positive mentality.

And even though for now it seems like everything's getting better and there's more hope for next year, I've deliberately tried to predict the worst case scenario will happen because it's so hard for me to imagine such positivity. I really hope that this kind of improvement will stay this way. I'm still afraid of people deliberately infecting others to get the number of cases back up to how it was before and undo all our hard work, but I might feel better if I had reassurance that something like that is highly unlikely to happen.

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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

 
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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hey @Bento just wanted to check in and see how you were feeling following today’s announcements in Victoria? 

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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Today I felt a little excited that stuff's opening up so we can get out a little more. I still might wait a while longer before I feel sure about city outings and the like, but at least i can sit in a cafe or go to the shops, little things like that.

Last night, I had a bad dream. In it, I saw news of people on the streets clashing in a violent massacre because of their division from politics. I remember feeling really scared and couldn't calm myself down. It was only a brief part of a bigger dream, but that stood out to me when I woke up. I think it really says something about what I'm worried about; seeing all this division and conflict among people all because of governments. I think it's sad how we let our differences pit us against each other, and label people as evil and let their hate for them take over their life. I've been thinking a lot about how it gets to a point where it's so pointless to go through life with so much negativity all the time. Life can't always be sunshine and rainbows, but we all need to make time for the things that really matter. Devoting all your time to hating people just gives them more power over you. So I've decided I don't want to live in such negativity anymore, but I feel like the greater public won't meet me halfway on that one because there'll still be so much fury among people, and it's really stressful and makes it hard for me to think calmly when it feels like everything's falling apart. The other day I found a hypnotherapy place in town near where I live, and they say it can help with anxiety. It's a bit expensive for a session, but should I give it a try?

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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

That dream sounds so intense @Bento I hope you were able to sleep a bit better last night. You're absolutely right that its devastating the way our differences cause conflicts and are used to fuel hatred. I think its really amazing that you're wanting to make an active choice not to live in the negativity, it's definitely hard when a number of things are out of our control, but we can control our own responses. Also this is TRUE: "Life can't always be sunshine and rainbows, but we all need to make time for the things that really matter" So V true.

 

I think looking into hypnotherapy sounds like a really interesting idea, I've never done it myself but have always been interested to try it. Maybe you could call them up and ask a few more questions?

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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Happy Halloween! A good day for me because I have a soft spot for Halloween themed stuff. Today me and Mum went to meet up with my sister and her bf at a park, and then we went to the shops for the first time in something like 3-4 months. So I'm getting back out there a little bit more each time to readjust to the outside world, it's nice to be able to go out again; I just hope it stays that way.

I'm feeling a bit nervous though, because tomorrow is the start of November, and I feel like the last 2 months of the year will be make or break. I was thinking before how I want to try and take back control of my emotions, which means not letting my feelings be dictated by things I can't control. I know that's gonna be a challenge, especially since a lot of people seem to be deeply affected by bad things happening. I wish I could find a "safe" news source where I can get informed about news and politics I should know about without the risk of being triggered because I can't handle it. Some news sources seem to be mostly neutral and fair-minded, but others write about opinions that they treat as facts, presenting a very biased view. All these sources push and pull me in different directions and I don't know who to trust, it's just too confusing. Especially because some news sources can be really scary and hostile. There have been plenty of times where reading/watching the news has given me terrible anxiety and I don't know how to react to something so scary; no one should have to feel that way about the world they live in. I think the world should be a more mentally safe place for such an emotionally vulnerable generation such as ours, and I'd like to be part of an organization that aims to work towards that.

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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hey @Bento, Happy Halloween too, its awesome to hear that you had a good day! It's great that you have been able to go out a bit more with your family, I am sure it must have felt a bit weird at first though! Smiley Happy I can understand your worries about being uncertain for what the rest of the year holds. It can be so hard to deal with not knowing at times, and I find thinking positively to be a big help. Although that is easier said than done at times.

I also understand what you mean about the news, I also feel overwhelmed at times, because there is always new updates on the news about the virus. I sometimes find that avoiding the news myself and asking my friends and family about any big updates is a way for me to stay in the loop still. I am not sure if that would be helpful for you, but it does help me stay away from some of the more overwhelming news articles. It's awesome that you have considered the impact of the current situation of the emotional vulnerability and safety of the generation and that it has made you think about your role and desires Heart

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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Yes, right now I've been feeling really unsure of what's gonna happen. I think that this year I have experienced the most uncertainty and anxiety for the future I've ever had. The good news is that if I can survive the end of the year still standing there will be very little that can give me trouble in life ever again. I really just want to live in a normal world that's not so stressful, because I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with everything. But at the same time I also feel powerless because there's nothing I can do to help make things better. I'm tired of feeling like I'm at the mercy of the outside world. I think the reason I worry so much about people's negativity is because I've experienced trauma from my time in special school as a teenager. There were some very dysfunctional people in my class who had serious anger problems and picked fights with each other, making the classroom feel really unsafe and caused me extreme levels of stress, and I didn't take it well at all. I pretty much had to put up with it because I couldn't just not go to school, so I just spent every day locked in another room, not wanting to join in because I was too afraid of a fight breaking out. In the years since then I've neared witness to much more hate and toxicity from people, which has made me become jaded and frustrated with how people are. I think if I could see more of the good in people it would make me feel better; it'll take a lot of positivity to help me rebuild my trust in humanity.

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Re: TW: I'm terrified about the future

Hey @Bento, I can totally see where you coming from when you say that you have faced the most anxiety and uncertainity about the future this year. It hasn't been a great year for most people and I know that it can make things worse for people who may already be feeling worried or unsure about the future.

 

I am so sorry to hear that you experienced trauma in special school Smiley Sad That sounds like a horrible situation to have to face every day. It makes sense that these experiences have lead you to be quite distrustful of the people around you. As you mentioned, you felt really unsafe and stressed around people in class.

 

I am not sure if this helps.. but just like experiencing hate and toxicity changed the way you see people.. experiencing positivity will help you rebuild trust too. It might take some time but I can tell that this something you want to do, so I am sure you will get there Heart