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TW: Relationships

I am trying to reach out to my boyfriend about how sad I am feeling and that I want to self harm.  He simply doesn't care and tells me " you haven't felt real pain and I should just shut my emotions out!" I feel that he doesn't care much about me and that I am just an object in his life. We used to be so good together. He would happily show me off in public, post stuff on fb about our dates and take me out when I was getting stressed with uni. Now though, he purposely flirts with girls to test my trust for him, tells me that I wouldn't know if he lied to me, invites other chicks over just to piss me off. Although these chicks may know he has a girlfriend, they still might think they have a shot with the way he is acting.He constantly asks if they are okay and ensures they are not feeling like shit and helping them through their problems, yet has the balls to me, "Survival of the fittest, you'll get over it." yet he wonders why I am so paranoid and tells me I am making shit up in my head, yet I know I am not.  In addition he constantly plays games and feels likes he is purposely avoids me. There is just no communication or relationship anymore. 


Please help me


I am usually not like this and people say I am the helper and the one they go to for help and not the other way round. I honestly sick of feeling so pathetic and like I am not good enough for anyone. 

Re: TW: Relationships

Hey @snowbear first up well done on reaching out here and allowing yourself to be the one who is supported, it's amazing you are a helper but it's really good to allow others to support you as well.


Regarding your boyfriend, this is very emotionally abusive behaviour and very manipulative; you're not alone, this happens to many people of all genders but that does not make it okay. First up I would recommend you chat to KHL on 1800 55 1800, it's totally confidential you can even chat with their counsellors via webchat if you prefer. The reason I am suggesting this is it is important you get some clarity around what abusive behaviour is. He's being very manipulative and is leveraging your compassion which is not okay, do you think you'd be up to reaching out to a service like that for extra support? It's no wonder you feel not good enough for anyone the way he is behaving, it's quite normal as it makes you question your worth - so please know you are good enough.


Also re: the self-harm, are you able to stay safe tonight?


I am going to tag some more community members to jump in too, let me know how you're traveling when you can Heart


* also I edited your post, no biggy, but we don't talk about methods of self-harm on ReachOut. You can definitely talk about it we just need to be mindful of specifics.

Re: TW: Relationships

Re: TW: Relationships

hey @snowbear welcome to reach out !! sorry to hear things are tough at the moment for you Smiley Sad

like @Bree-RO said it does sound like your boyfriend is emotionally abusing you (i've experienced this too and you're not alone) and i would really recommend you to contact the Kids Helpline or call them on 1800 55 1800Heart


just want to check in that you are safe for tonight ?