cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Talking to parents about relationships/feelings

I’m starting to get to a stage in my life where I am thinking a lot about dating and stuff 😉, but I feel like I don’t have any adults in my life I feel comfortable talking to about this. Mum and Dad died last year, and my uncle who I’m living with, I’m not really that comfortable with having such big conversations with him. My mums and dads friends are still around and are very supportive, but I don’t feel a) comfortable with talking with them and b) I don’t know if they would wanna talk to me about that kind of stuff with me

Highlighted

Re: Talking to parents about relationships/feelings

Aw, this breaks my heart @Brian6787. It would be hard not having your parents around. I recall speaking to my parents about that sort of stuff when I was younger. So, I can imagine that it must be hard not having them around Smiley Sad.

 

You mentioned living with your uncle, and feeling uncomfortable talking to him. Is that because you think he'd feel uncomfortable or is he just not the kind of person you'd like to open up to?

 

If it's the former option, I'm wondering whether you could "test out" speaking to him about stuff. Maybe start with sharing something that is a fairly comfortable for you (e.g., I'm interested in this girl), and see how he reacts. If he reacts well, then next time, share something that's a little bit more uncomfortable, and see how he reacts again. If he reacts well again, then maybe share what you actually want to talk about.

 

What do you think?

Highlighted

Re: Talking to parents about relationships/feelings

Hey @Brian6787 

Super sorry to hear about the loss of your parents, that is bloody hard! I lost my mum when I was a teenager and then my dad got remarried so quick and both he and my step mum were not that great to talk about a few things, so I felt pretty lost! It's super hard when you don't feel like you have adults you can talk to about that stuff, I felt the same way! I ended up making friends with a neighbour that had a toddler and she was really good a creating a space for me to talk about how shit things were but also ask questions about the hard stuff. We are here to chat through things with you, but maybe give your mum and dad's friends a go, I know it's awkward as all hell, but I found that this neighbour was cool and relaxed and it helped a lot. They cared about your parents so they will care about you too! 

 

Hope you are doing alright!

Highlighted

Re: Talking to parents about relationships/feelings

@Brian6787 I am so sorry to hear about your loss - my dad wasn't around in my adolescence and my mum has a personality disorder and remarried very quickly so she wasn't someone I could turn to either. I remember entering my first relationship and I was so blind and had no one to turn to for guidance. It was hard.

I personally turned to a friend a lot for guidance and to be honest online - I wouldn't recommend online so much, there's a lot of false information out there. If it makes you feel any better, I think a lot of those adult figures in your life probably want to broach that conversation with you too and dont know how to approach it.

@Maddy-RO has a really solid approach and a good toe dip in the water to see how it'll be taken. Do you have some friends who are a couple of years older who may be able to guide you a little?
Highlighted

Re: Talking to parents about relationships/feelings

@Brian6787 I'm sorry to hear that you feel you can't reach out to anyone about these things, although I'm glad to hear that you a generally supportive group of adults around you- they can make all the difference when we experience big losses like the that of our loved ones.

It can be hard when we can't talk about things that are important but also very personal and private with the loved ones we have in our lives now. Online spaces can do two things here: they can be a safe space to have healthy discussions around the topics you'd like to share but can't in the real world,

and

these spaces can help you figure out ways to tell your loved ones at least how your feeling or help figure out someone in your life that you can trust to talk through these things with.

Having someone to discuss dating, relationships, sex, sexuality with can be a great way to learn about yourself and how these milestones and parts of your identity fit into the wider context of your life. 

So, where would you like to begin? Let us know and we can do our best Smiley Happy

Highlighted

Re: Talking to parents about relationships/feelings

hey i noticed it's been a while since you posted but i just wanted to chime in because this is a topic i have had waaaay too much experience with

 

it's such an important period in our life yet nobody really teaches this in schools and it really should be something kids are informed on

 

i reckon the best thing might be to talk to friends/peers (if there are any around u that u are comfortable with) if not, and if it's available, a counsellor or psychologist could be really cool. I remember i had some pretty bad intimacy issues/self esteem and all of it was addressed and improved upon by this bad ass psychologist so just thought i would put it out there Smiley Happy a lot of my friends refuse to see psychs because of the stigma but also they assume u need a mental health problem - NOT TRUE! in my experience, they're great at offering life advice/helpful skills in life  

 

i'm rooting for you!! also feel free to express your thoughts on this platform, i'm sure we've got a wave of people ready to help out <3

 

EDIT: also check out this book by meg jay called: The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now. i read it at a time when i was really lost about relationships, work etc. and it helped clarify a looot