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The Good Old Days?

Okay, so this is going to be a bit weird...but please keep reading...

 

So what happened was I used to be enemies with this schoolmate of mine. His name's Ian (name changed). Our relationship remained really unstable and it certainly annoyed most of my peers and teachers who were constantly witnessing all the mess. He was just making fun of me by teasing me about things I wasn't really comfortable with.

 

But now, he's moved to a really top school in Melbourne and just before his departure, we actually got really close together somehow (maybe we matured or stopped fighting cos we all wanted to end the year with a high), and now we're pretty good friends. We talk online quite often and try to see each other in person whenever we can, despite the harsh past.

 

Now here's the thing - I'm constantly being reminded to treasure the 'good old days', and the first thing that comes into my mind is my relationship with Ian. This is all because now I feel lonely and isolated at school because I no longer have his company day to day. Ian's drifted off to a better life, with better people, with a better school environment and a better reputation. I wish during my previous years I would've socialised with Ian more, or talked to him more. But you need to remember that as much as I wanted to go back when he was in my school and hang out, there would always be some barrier because of our fights and all. Obviously, we're still great friends, but I'm blaming myself for not making the most out of him and his company, even though there was a bad side to it. Any advice?

Re: The Good Old Days?

Hey @lc_5704, thanks for joining ReachOut! We are so glad you have found our forums. Just to let you know, I had to edit a name of the school out due to our community guidelines around anonymity. I don't think it is kind or fair to blame yourself as a friendship works two ways. As you mentioned, there was a barrier (and rightly so) that prevented you from making the most out of your time with him. You're also focusing on something that is in the past and therefore outside your control. While you are focusing on missing out on your past, you're also missing out on the present moment. You mentioned feeling lonely and isolated, have you talked to anyone else about these feelings? Maybe this is what has caused you to reflect on your relationships and so it might be worth looking at these feelings more. Do you have other friends at school? Smiley Happy

Re: The Good Old Days?

Hi @lc_5704
Welcome to RO!
It can be hard sometimes, thinking about the past and wanting to go back in time. I've definitely done this. When I've thought in this way I remind myself that it's really important to live in the present and try to adapt as best as I can, it's not easy but it's a growing process. It's amazing how we can get used to things.
It's really nice to hear that you guys are still friends!
If we think about the present, with your friend being in a different school, is there a way that you can try to create new friendships with others in your school?
Here for you Heart

Re: The Good Old Days?

Hi @lc_5704

 

Memories are great to have. The good and the bad. Obviously we like to have more good memories than the bad. At the end of the day these are just memories. I'm sure a lot of people in the forums go over our own memories wish we did things differently and wonder how things would have turned out. But we can't live in the past. Like you said, your friend moved on to better things and so should you. Keep the good memories of your friend, and makes new memories with new friends. Don't be stuck in the past and get left behind.