Negative: I made a mistake yesterday at work which came to light when one of the proprietors (aka the business owner) came looking for paperwork from the deliveries. I had entirely skipped the whole thing of them sighting the paperwork and doing their bit first and I just proceeded to file them away. I felt really embarrassed and ashamed when it happened and I had to fetch the paperwork for the proprietor. Question: Was it really such a terrible mistake? Is the level of shame and embarrassment proportionate to the mistake made? Positive: It wasn't really a huge mistake, the proprietor came looking for it and asked when he didn't know where it was. He commented that I was "too efficient" for him. My manager didn't scold me or tell me off about it. I think she knew that I got the message. As per the sticky notes, I wrote myself and the other proprietor (who has to sight his paperwork).
Negative: Despite my manager being calm and non-judgemental towards me I still felt as though I made a HUGE mistake and felt really antsy and anxious when it came to her teaching me a new task in my job. Question: Is there any real need to be scared of this manager? Has this manager given you any indication to be scared of her? Positive: No, quite the opposite, this manager is kind, caring and compassionate. She's not given me any reason not to trust her. I couldn't ask for a better person to be a manager.
Negative: I know that I'm having these feelings because of a previous manager and employer combination a couple years back. It along with my other life experiences make some of this really difficult to challenge at times. Question: Is this like the last experience? Positive: NO. This is an entirely different experience. And I can see from my current workplace training that it won't be like the last employer. I've been able to identify these issues and I'm going to bring them up with my psychologist as this is something I need to address before it tries to make it's way into my current workplace.
Negative: I saw an invoice in the paperwork yesterday from the company I had a previous bad employment experience with. It brought back some of these memories and fears about this employer. I'm scared that having to process the invoices from them will continue to haunt me during work. Question: What can I realistically do? Positive: I am going to bring this up with both my psychologist and my job search agency who is supporting me to settle into the role (I have an obligation to continue to see them for a while)