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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

Thanks for the update @comerfordius It's good to hear that things are getting there with your bf. Really sorry to hear about your auntie though, that must be really tough for your family. How are you coping with that? 

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

Hello there.

My family has been coping quite well the last week. The week before however was absolutely terrible as we had no idea what the outcome was and it was looking quite grim. However we are very happy that she is home and receiving the best treatment she can. Thank you for asking🙂

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

I'm glad to hear things are looking up @comerfordius and that the doctors have an action-plan regarding your aunty. It's always nice to hear that treatments are available. Heart

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

Hello again!

 

yes it is amazing that there are many treatments available, even though surgery was not an option unfortunately Smiley Sad I have actually come on tonight to update about my bf. I have had a few chats with him since my major blowout, including bringing up complimenting more and general effort (again). I still hold true to my decision to end the relationship should he remain lazy, and i believe i am more confident than i was before in this endeavor. I had a good thought today that if the time comes around, i will be ready to do so, confident in myself and what i need. I actively asked him today what he did to get off his bum and he just said gaming, walking the dog and doing assignments. To be fair we are confined mostly to our homes and he brought this up, though i reminded him that he pretty much did nothing for me beforehand and he needs to get off his ass (excuse the language), as he pretty much did what he is doing now. I am trying to pitch outing and day trip ideas to him for when we are out of this crisis, however, he is unfortunately completely uninterested and when i ask him what he wants to do he just says stay home or go to his favourite bookstore, or make a joke out of it. Bit annoying. I kind of figure i would like to be with someone who would want to go on a farmstay with me on the coast, or go camping in the bush (both options i suggested). Just waiting and seeing i guess Smiley Happy I am definitely more ambitious than him.

 

Not asking for advice, just a general update on thoughts and feelings Smiley Happy

 

Many thanks for reading Smiley Happy 

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

Hey @comerfordius 

 

Thanks so much for the update. It sounds like you're feeling more confident within yourself than you did last time, and feeling more ready to make any decision that is right for you. It also sounds like you're beginning to identify things you'd need/like in a partner, such as someone with similar interests to you, or someone who "gets off their ass" a little more often Smiley LOL. It's good that you're identifying these things, as all of this knowledge about what you want in a partner will help if you ever start dating again.

 

Heart

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

Hello Smiley Happy

 

Yes i am definitely more confident which is a big positive. I am still hopeful he will turn around a bit when this whole Corona thing is over, though if it has to end it will be for the best Smiley Happy

 

Thank you for the reply!

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

You sound really clear @comerfordius and on the right track when it comes to doing whats best for you! It's awesome to see. 

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

Hello all it’s been a while,

 

just a little update🙂my bf has been amazing the last 2 weeks or so and we have had some of the longest conversations we have had in a while, which has been really great and a massive positive turnaround on his part. However the past 2 days have been back to what it was before the awesome 2 weeks and  I feel like it’s too early for another crap stage to happen. I know it’s only 2 days and I told him that it really irritates me when he doesn’t put effort in or at least try to have a conversation other thank replying with an “ok” or “very interesting. I think I’m just worried that it will go back to crap. Who knows maybe I’m overreacting but it has really agitated and upset me tonight. He blames it on uni but he’s had uni the past 2 weeks as well, and has no major assessments until the end of term. Just needed to get this off my chest tonight👌

thank you all who have been replying they have really been helping, and the updates help me process my emotions better I think🙂

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

Hey @comerfordius 

 

Thanks for the update Heart.

 

It sounds like, over the past couple of weeks, things have been great between you and your boyfriend, but in the last few days he's put in less effort, and now you're worried things are going to turn "crap" again.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what does a crap day with your boyfriend look like to you?

 

Also, if things would to be perfect and ideal between you, then what would that look like?

 

Heart

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Re: Unsure if i should stick with current boyfriend - advice?

Hello,

I now know what a good/ideal day looks like because i have definitely had some in the past 2 weeks with him. It mostly consists of him just putting effort in to talk to me and reply with interest, and then i have no complaints Smiley Very Happy

 

A bad day on the other hand is laziness, where he doesnt listen/care about what i say - when this happens he replies with "ok, interesting, cool or just doesnt reply at all, which i told him really agitates me.

 

My parents think its just a matter of his maturity and i need to call him out when he goes down the rabbit hole with me, and i am inclined to agree with them

 

I know it cant be perfect everyday and i dont expect it to, i just think that its not been long since i had three months of pretty much nothing and i seriously do not want to go back there. He has been engaing more today though so overall a positive Smiley Happy I am seeing him tomorrow so hopefully he will begin to put his words into action

 

Thank you for the reply i really appreciate it Smiley Happy