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Virginity worries!

I'm legal and tomorrow I may be losing my virginity, I'm slightly nervous because of all the stories I've heard of pain and so on. Will it hurt? I'm pretty sure my hymen is already broken. Any tips or advice?

Re: Virginity worries!

Hi @Ladybug3719.


Welcome to ReachOut. Also, well done on seeking answers to your concerns.


I'm not entirely sure on what advice to give because everyone's experience will be different and I'm not an expert. But I think some of the most important things to remember are:


-Are you definitely ready? Does it feel like the right time? Have you and your partner talked about protection/contraception?


-Make sure there is always open communication and if things become too much or you change your mind then voice that- make sure you don't feel pressured, that you and your partner are both happy to have that type of imtimacy and work out how far your're willing to go and when


-It's okay to experience a range of emotions and feelings before, during and after sex- give yourself time to process these emotions and feelings and work out does and doesn't work for you


-Pain might or might not occur- this can be for a range of reasons including whether the hymen is broken


-Remember to try and enjoy it- sex is all about connecting with someone special to you


Hope that helps a little.

Here's links to two factsheets that might also be useful:
-How to have sex for the first time

-Am I ready for sex


Re: Virginity worries!

Hey  @Ladybug3719 


Welcome to! @Lightuptheworld has given some great questions to consider before you follow through. 


Everyone has different expectations and perspectives on how they would like their first time to be. What's really important is feeling comfortable about yourself and with your partner as well as openly communicating; knowing that you mutually understand each others' boundaries. 


Read on contraception! If you're unsure about what would work for you, visit your local GP and explain what you feel comfortable using as well as clearing up any confusion you have. You're better safe than sorry. 


Hope this helps!



Stay excellent

Re: Virginity worries!

Hey @Ladybug3719 - everyone's first time is different but if you're with someone you trust and you can communicate openly with them about how you feel (physically and emotionally) it will help a lot. Don't be afraid to ask your partner to stop, slow down or change positions if you start to feel uncomfortable and definitely use protection. The more nervous you are, the more likely it is your muscles will tense up and make it uncomfortable so spend as much time as you can building up up to the act and getting relaxed! Good luck!


Re: Virginity worries!

Hey @Ladybug3719

All I can say is make sure it is what YOU want, no external influence or pressure. Protect yourself and make sure you speak to a doctor.

Stay safe Smiley Happy
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**