Hey everyone!
How are you all doing? I'm sure many of you are finding it tough managing not only your own mental health and wellbeing, but the wellbeing of others. Some of you might be looking out for a friend, a family member, a partner or members of your community who might also be going through a hard time.
Here are some relevant resources on the ReachOut website:
Supporting Family
Helping Friends
With this in mind, this week's Wellbeing activity is about learning positive ways we can support others and have conversations about difficult issues. So, we've included some tips and ideas to get you started!
One helpful strategy involves active listening. Active listening is a skill that involves giving an individual your full attention and showing that you're interested in what they have to say.
Active listening techniques include reflection, labelling emotions, asking questions, empathising, sharing lived experience in a positive way, identifying a person's strengths and empowering them to find their own way forward.
Here are some tips to facilitate active listening:
- Acknowledge the other person's feelings and identify the particular emotions they might be experiencing. It's okay to get this wrong.
- Validate their experiences. For example, you could say, 'If I were in your shoes, I would feel ___ too'.
- Show your trust in their ability to work it out. For example, you could say, 'You are the expert on your situation. I can listen and help you figure out the path forward'. Guide them to look inside themselves for the answer, such as by saying, 'What do you feel like you should do?'
- Help them think about things from another point of view, such as by saying, 'What would you tell a friend who is in your situation?'
- Ask open-ended questions. For example, 'How are you doing?' rather than 'You doing okay?'. Avoid asking 'Why?' questions and ask more 'How?' and 'What?' questions.
- Point out an individual's strengths, such as their willingness to seek support or their resilience.
- Summarise the points the other person makes to check your understanding. For example, you could say, 'It sounds to me like…' 'So, in other words…', 'What I'm hearing you say is…'
- Don't jump in and offer solutions straight away. First, ask open-ended questions and show empathy.
- Tell them about a time that you coped with something similar, and what you did to cope. Instil hope. If you haven't been through something similar, try to imagine what they are experiencing. It's okay to say that you haven't experienced it, but that you can tell that it's affecting them a lot.
- Avoid imposing your own beliefs onto the other person or saying things such as 'I know how you feel'.
- Check in on them at another time after the conversation ends. For example, you could say, 'It's been a while since last talked. How are you doing now?'
When you are with a person physically, you can show that you are listening to them by:
- Sitting beside them rather than across from them. If they are sitting down, sit down as well.
- Using brief, positive prompts to keep the conversation going. For example, 'umm-hmm', 'Oh?', 'Then?', 'And?'
- Adopting an open posture.
- Making eye contact with them.
- Being relaxed as calmness is contagious.
If you're interested in learning more about how to support someone else, there are lots of paid and free courses out there. Some of them might be called 'Mental Health First Aid' or 'Psychological First Aid'. Here is a free Psychological First Aid course that I did online recently.
If you're worried that someone might require crisis support or is in a lot of distress, encourage them to use a service such as Lifeline, Kids Helpline or the Suicide Callback Service. You can find the links to these services in the 'Urgent Help' section. In the past, I've supported others by distracting and chatting with them as they've waited for a phone or online counsellor.
After supporting someone else, try to debrief with yourself. Supporting others can take a toll on everyone involved and you're worthy of receiving support too.
Here are some questions you could ask yourself:
- Do you feel that you coped with the situation well?
- Are you feeling okay after helping this person?
- Do you need to talk to someone yourself?
- What can you do for self-care?
With these points in mind, let's move on to this week's activity:
Share your top tips for supporting someone else! They could be helpful ways to open up a conversation about wellbeing, something that has helped you or a person you are supporting in the past or a useful online resource or video, just to name a few ideas.
@JullyBean It was meant to be done over a few weeks, but it wasn't that long and I finished it really quickly. Most of it was lecture-based so I would just watch it while having lunch. 
@November13 That's great advice! Sometimes, it can help for them to go somewhere quieter.
I found this article the other day and I thought it was relevant for this activity too.
Wow so much great advice and insight @WheresMySquishy. Thank you for all the resources (especially that Psychological First Aid course link!).
Fantastic advice @November13, choosing to have the conversation in a safe space definitely makes all the difference to help someone open up and have an honest conversation.
My top tip is that things are always better said with a cup of tea in hand! I don't know if this is just my circle of friends, but I always find that I have the biggest and hardest conversations over a cuppa. Even just holding the mug and feeling the warmth can bring so much comfort in hard times.
@recharging_introvert I'm not a big fan of hot tea myself, but I know so many people who can't live without tea! Once, one of my nursing home residents was upset because one of their family members had passed away, and I brought her a cup of tea and we sat on her bed and chatted about it. Eventually, she was smiling again. I've had a similar conversation with another resident over tea as well. I used to serve tea to people waiting for appointments with mental health professionals in my other roles too. I feel like it can really encourage someone to open up if they're finding it hard to communicate.
That gif is amazing!
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