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Weirded out

A random guy approached me at uni last week, it was really awkward and I felt weirded out. He's not in any of my classes, and is doing a different degree to me. He randomly approached me on campus centre. We talked for a few minutes, and then he asked me for my number and said he wants to hang out with me like for coffee or lunch. I told him I felt uncomfortable with the idea of meeting up for coffee or lunch. The idea of meeting up alone with a dude I barely know sounds weird. so I'm like let's study sometime, but I don't know, I feel uncomfortable about that too. 

 

I didn't give him my number either, because giving a stranger your own number is weird and uncomfortable. But I did add him on FB, and he sent me a message yesterday and today asking how I am, and if I want to hang out. I'm totally weirded out, and I feel uncomfortable meeting up with this dude, I don't know if I'm overreacting. And I don't want to be mean, and be frank with him but I don't want to hang out. 

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Re: Weirded out

Hey @Creativegirl12 I really want to jump in and give my 2 cents but im interested in other peoples experiences on this. What does everyone else think? 

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Re: Weirded out

What are your instincts telling you? They are generally accurate. Don't worry about trying to find a reason- in my experience there isn't one, just do whatever makes you feel safe.

 

I can understand how uncomfortable and threatening it must have felt to have him come up to you so suddenly. It's a perfectly reasonable response given the circumstances.        

 

I would have done exactly what you did- not given him my number and made some excuse to leave "It was nice chatting to you, but I need to go to class/the library/catch the bus...." and walk away.  If he makes you uncomfortable in real life, I'd delete him from your friend list on facebook too, just in case, but it's untimately your decision      

 

I don't know what else to say, except take care of yourself and let your psychologist know because they may have other suggestions to try if he comes up to you again.

 

We're here too, of course! Smiley Happy

 

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@Sans-RO @Shadow I think I'm sort of hyper-alert when it comes to strangers. Even if strangers don't mean harm, I often become suscipicious. I'm on protection mode. Sometimes I'm afraid of being rude. While some people are friendly and find it easy to converse with people they barely know. I'm not one of those people.

I barely know him. What if he's interested in me? I can't know what it is. I think I'm sort of afraid that he's interested in me. But I don't have feelings for him, I find it awkward when a guy shows interest in me, but I don't feel anything for them. It's happened before, and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
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Hey @Creativegirl12 obviously it can go either way and there's no way to tell without hanging with him, but if you gut instinct tells you that he's bad news, I would trust that gut like @Shadow said earlier, especially in regards to your safety!

 

 But I'm also getting the feeling that you're also wondering if you're being too closed off...is that right or am I completely off? 

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Re: Weirded out

Hey @Creativegirl12, I've had a similar experience (as well as a similar reaction) so I can kind of relate to this post. 

 

I'm wondering the same thing as @Sans-RO, but what I will say is it's up to you how you define your personal boundaries. It wouldn't be mean and you're completely within your right to communicate that you're just not interested and to decline his invitation, if he were to react negatively that would be on him. Some people just don't feel comfortable being approached in this kind of spontaneous way and that's okay, there absolutely if validity in trusting your gut instinct. It's also alright to have a situation like this make you question your view, but whichever way you land it's your choice as to whether it's an approach you're okay with or not at the end of the day. 

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Re: Weirded out

Hey @Creativegirl12

 

How've you been feeling today? 

Everyone here has offered different perspectives and some good advice thus far! How has your weekend been and how are you feeling about this situation? 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent
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Re: Weirded out

@Sans-RO, @Chessca_H and @Myvo I'm feeling better about the situation. I was just afraid I was overreacting. And that my defensive was out of proportion. But I guess we all are different, some people feel comfortable conversing with people they don't know, while others feel wary.
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That's an excellent insight @Creativegirl12!

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Hi @Creativegirl12

I definitely agree I think everyone's different. 
It's great you have self-awareness though!

How are things now? Smiley Very Happy