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What to do when a friend always cancels plans?

Hi everyone!

I wanted to discuss something that's been happening to me for a while now. 

I have a friend, one of my closest friends, who tends to cancel our plans on the day because she's sick.  

Probably 8/10 times she will cancel on the day. When we see each other it's amazing and it's as if no time has passed at all! And she's never done anything bad to me, she's always treated me well otherwise. 

Has this happened to anyone else? 

Thanks for listening Heart 

Re: What to do when a friend always cancels plans?

Hey @missep,

 

This would be a frustrating position to be in, especially with one of your closest friends!

 

While it may be different for your friend, so I apologise if this doesn't ring true with your situation, but I am 100% the friend that cancels on the day every time. For me, even when it's with people I am close to, we make plans and I do want to see that person/people, but leading up to the event, anxiety creeps in and suddenly the thought of making it to the location and being in what is likely to be a crowded place with lots of other people just becomes too much, so I cancel. Generally, it's easier to say you're sick or super busy and cancel, than tell somebody the real reason. The challenge with that scenario is though that you know you'll probably enjoy yourself once you get there and the people I'm with would never know what a challenge it was for me to make it, but getting over the initial hurdles can be too much of a challenge on some days. 

 

Have you ever asked your friend why she cancels? For my situation, I once had a friend confront me about it and I was honest with him. Since then, it's meant that he not only holds me accountable when we make plans, but also checks in before the event to ensure it's not going to be too much. 

 

Sorry if this does not relate to you and your friend, but as the friend that cancels almost 100% of the time, I thought it might be worth sharing from the other side of this predicament!

 

Re: What to do when a friend always cancels plans?

Thank you for your response @Sunflower18 !
Reading that actually makes me feel better, my friend can also get anxious but we used to see each other more often and now it's more sporadic Smiley Sad
The last time she invited me to her house which was really nice because we both knew she wouldn't cancel in that case.
It's so true about anxiety though, even though you want to see the other person it can be too consuming actually get there.

Re: What to do when a friend always cancels plans?

Hey @missep!

 

So what I typically do in any situation when I am meeting a friend, I will go do the thing whether they come or not. For example, if we are going to see a movie, I will go even if they cancel. 

 

This way you don't miss out on doing something cool just because they can't make it! Chuck on some headphones and go adventure! Reduces the disappointment by half Smiley Wink

Re: What to do when a friend always cancels plans?

Hi @peacelovepizza !
I loveeeee that idea!
Treat yo self!
I didn't even think of that. It's so true. I also want to start working on being more adaptable and flexible to situations, I think it will be a good learning curve.

Re: What to do when a friend always cancels plans?

@peacelovepizza That is such a cool idea Smiley Tongue I am definitely doing this next time when a friend cancels a plan Smiley LOL