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When you find out you weren't invited to something

Hi everyone!

I was just wondering how people cope when they find out they weren't invited to something. 

This happened to myself and my best friend recently. 

In saying this, the friend was an ex-friend who turned out to be quite cold to us. 

The way I handled it was that I removed said person from snapchat as I found it had a negative impact on my happiness when I was able to see everything they were doing.

I feel much better about it now. 

How do you guys cope/what do you do? 

Re: When you find out you weren't invited to something

Hi @missep,

It is so hard to feel like you have been left out, and I'm really sorry to hear you and your friend are experiencing this. It sounds like you have taken some great steps to reduce the impact this is having on you by deleting that person's snapchat. Unfortunately social media platforms like snapchat, facebook and instagram are notorious for showing people all the things that others are doing that they aren't invited to, and that's really hard to see. 


How did you manage these feelings the rest of the weekend? Did you take any additional steps to cope?

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Re: When you find out you weren't invited to something

I very much agree with your step of removing the person off of snapchat @missep. I think it makes the most sense to delete someone who is or creates a negative impact on your life from social media, and choose to live your life without them.

There are a lot of times when we may not be invited to something and there were reasons for it that don't make the person not a friend (eg. it had to do with numbers, they were holding it for a certain group or type of friend, there were other friend dramas they were taking into consideration), but it sounds like yours wasn't case of that.

The other thing that I've found really good for me, is that when I see that I'm sad about not being involved in something, I find something else for myself to be involved in. I hang out with another friend (or friends). Even speaking to them helps to remind me that I'm not alone, that I have people.

Re: When you find out you weren't invited to something

Hi @missep


You said it was an ex-friend so were you expecting an invite? Or do you mean that you weren't invited to something and then removed them as your friend? 


The main way I deal with finding out I wasn't invited to something is just trick my brain. Think negatives about the event. Like if it's a party, I think about how horrible the music is, how many strangers will be there (that scares me ha), pretty much thinking about all the negatives about the event and soon I'll be like damn lucky I'm not there. I also find not using social media that much and just focusing on your own hobbies helps a ton. 


Re: When you find out you weren't invited to something

How are you going @missep?
I find it relatively easier to cope, mainly because it happened to me all the time but it's never fun when it does Smiley Sad I glad that the way you handled it made you feel better Smiley Happy

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Re: When you find out you weren't invited to something

Thank you for the support @Jess1-RO!

It definitely stings when you feel like you're being left out. Taking the person off snap chat helped so much actually! I noticed that she was always watching what I was doing and it made me uncomfortable. Like she saw that it was my birthday but didn't even say happy birthday at least when it was her birthday I messaged her happy birthday. 

I've been feeling good now, the social media cleanse helped tons Smiley Happy 

Re: When you find out you weren't invited to something

That is so true @Birdeye! That's actually a really good solution to do something else instead. I like that idea Smiley Happy I have felt so much better now because I realise that having her on snap chat was causing a lot of anxiety and stress. 

Re: When you find out you weren't invited to something

Hi @LeoTheLion!

Ah it's a bit complicated but basically I was always trying to be friendly with her and we didn't fight or anything but she started to just be cold and distant. I hate confrontation so I just left it but I still tried to smile and be nice when I could. She on the other hand just seemed disinterested in me. 


I like the idea of tricking my brain. There were definitely positives to not being at the party and you're right, focusing on my own hobbies and not social media will help me in the long run Smiley Happy 

Re: When you find out you weren't invited to something

Hi @N1ghtW1ng!

I'm actually going really well now thank you, having removed the negativity in my life has definitely helped so much. Thank you for the support Heart 

It definitely stings but atleast I had my friend who went through the same situation so it didn't feel like I was alone.