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Who am I?



I have been trying to work out who I am over the past week. I'm still really confused though. I think I'm non-binary but I'm leaning towards male over female. I'm not sure what to do, please help! Man Frustrated Smiley Frustrated Woman Frustrated


Re: Who am I?

It's definitely okay for you to not be sure about your gender and it's 100% okay to explore your gender and gender expression.
If you haven't already, I would recommend looking at Youtube videos made by trans people about being transgender and see if you can relate more to trans guys or more towards trans non-binary people. Some channels I would recommend would be Ashton Daniel who identifies as a non-binary boy and uses he/him or they/them pronouns and JammiDodger who is a trans guy who gives really good info on being transgender. These people were both assigned female at birth but I haven't really looked much into trans people who were assigned male at birth (I am fairly certain I am ftm so I don't have much knowledge about the mtf community but I am always willing to learn more Smiley Happy

Another thing is that if you have supportive family and friends, you could get them to try and use different pronouns and/or name to see which set feels most comfortable for you.
Hope you find at least some of this useful!

Re: Who am I?

Hi @Fb0134, thank you for reaching out. As a lesbian woman, I know how difficult it can be to explore your gender identity, especially on your own. I think @not-an-otter's suggestion of exploring Youtube channels about gender expression is a fantastic idea, I know that seeing people represented that were like me was a huge help when I was coming out. 


If you don't mind me asking, have you discussed your feelings with someone you trust or a counsellor/psychologist? If you feel comfortable, it can be really helpful to have someone to talk to. 


Thinking of you, always here for a chat Cat Very Happy


Re: Who am I?

Hi @Fb0134.


I'm non-binary, and tend to lean slightly towards female (I say tend to because I'm also genderfluid, I can be anywhere between completely non-binary to being almost completely female). Anyway, a few ideas that may be helpful:


Playing around with gender presentation

I heard of someone who accidentally came to understand their gender by sorting out their clothes. They kept the clothes that made them happy and got rid of the ones that didn't. They realized that they had gotten rid of all of their dresses, skirts and more feminine clothing.

Playing around with gender presentation can be a great way to find out what makes you most comfortable, which can help you learn more about your gender and your relationship to it.


Looking at names

Possibly similar to the first one actually.. browse through a list of names (and their meanings and origins if you want). Make a list of ones you could imagine calling yourself. This doesn't mean you will change your name, but it means you can notice patterns. Looking at names helped me understand myself better, especially in terms of how feminine/ masculine/ other I feel. I found my "comfort zone" in unisex names, or names that were slightly gendered. Very gendered names (like Rose or John) felt really uncomfortable for me, though when I was more feminine that range grew a bit.


Looking at labels

Okay, I know there are heaps of these and they can be really overwhelming, especially when you factor in all the politics and opinions; but they can be very useful. 

It's important to remember that you don't need to use any label you don't want to, even if that means using no labels at all. You can also use multiple labels. Because of how complex identity can be, many people use long strings of words and labels to help them fully describe themselves.

I can find you a few words that you might find useful if you'd like, but there's no pressure. 


Hopefully some of this helped. Please take care, questioning can be really hard, but you will get there. 


Re: Who am I?

I am a Female, BUT, I am all for the different genders there are in the community.

I think the ideas that @Tiny_leaf has suggested are very helpful. I realise that the name one stands out to me, as I love particular feminine names like Stella or Alexandria.

Although, I tend to wear more boyish clothes. So I could Identify as Tomboy.

Anyways, this isn't about me. I'm here for you if you need to talk, but I'm not really much help when it comes to gender. I have a friend who's Bisexual, and I know there is a couple who are gay females (Lesbian? IDK the terms!) at school.

Again, as others have said, it's okay to explore your gender, and try different pronouns.

//Nothing is impossible. The word itself says "I'm Possible"//