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Why am i being so unsociable?

Lately i've been feeling really unsociable towards my bestfriends. They always want to do things outside of school and i go but sometimes i wish i could just stay at home all by myself and watch movies or something... 

I normally like hanging out with them but lately i've realised i have nothing in common with them at all, and i feel bored quite often. They are a new friendship group i only started hanging out with them this year, because my last one didn't work out, sometimes i miss my old friendship group because i felt more like my self in it and i feel like i had more fun back then, but other times im glad im in my new friendship group too. I cant go back to my old frienship group because i know they wont accept me, and because of my stubborn nature.

I just want to know why i enjoy being by my self rather then my friends most of the time 

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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?

Hi BeachBabe,


I don't know why you're feeling this way, but trying a few different friendship situations could let you discover it.

Maybe you're feeling like you want more time by yourself, more time doing things you enjoy, or just less time with the same people.

Do you feel comfortable with these friends? Maybe you could start hanging out a bit with some of the people from your old friendship group, or even people from neither of the groups.

Perhaps this isn't the right group for you, if so there's nothing wrong with that. You'll make other friends you fit in with better. You joined a new group this year, you can do it again.
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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?


@BeachBabe wrote:

 

I just want to know why i enjoy being by my self rather then my friends most of the time 


On this particular point, I think you might be surprised that a lot of people feel this way. Maybe you're just an introverted person (which is totally okay and some of the greatest people in history were introverted).

 

Here are my two favourite comics about introverted people:

 

 

 

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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?

Hi @BeachBabe ,

 

You're not alone. While reading through your post, I kept thinking, "That sounds exactly like me!" Just to give you an example, my friends like to go to the gym, clubs, and festivals while I'm the type of person who prefers reading a book or hanging out with just one person. And like you, I feel bored quite often when out with my friends as well. I think Lex's comic strips really described introverted people well.

 

One other thing about introverted people is that a lot of people may think they are stubborn, and treat it as a reaction against them. I think it's important to let your friends know that you're your own person and sometimes prefer to do things your own way or by yourself rather than go with the group. I decline a lot of invitations to hang out with my friends, but I always let them know that I appreciate the invitation. The reason for the decline is not because I don't want to hang out with them, but simply because I have no interest in the activity.

 

Hope this has helped. Feel free to come back if you want to talk more or know more!

Nathan

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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?

thanks for the comic Smiley Happy
never really thought of myself as a introvert but i think your right
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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?

thankyou for that input @Birdeye
maybe i should do that Smiley Happy
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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?

Hi BeachBabe,

 

I definitely get what you're saying about being more inclined to stay home and watch movies than go out a lot, I'm a total homebody too Smiley Happy.

What stuck out to me in your post is that you feel like you're stuck between hanging out with this new group of friends that you don't feel like you have much in common with and reconnecting with the old group of friends you don't talk with anymore. While it might feel like these aspects of the situation are unchangable, it's important that you know that you always have the choice you hang out with whoever you want as much as you feel comfortable with. If you feel pressured to do otherwise, you need to let them know you need a bit more space.

I hope everything works out well for you,

Chessca 

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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?

Hey Beach Babe

Reading your post I could relate to alot of it, sometimes I feel like that way with my friends even though we are very close. Alone time is the best and there is absoultely nothing wrong with that Smiley Happy 

Even though you are friends doesn't mean all your interest will be the same, alot of my friends enjoy shopping everyday and I couldn't bare that so i'd rather be at home doing something relaxing. 

 

Remember introvert, extrovertdoesn't matter Smiley Wink  

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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?

@Nathan5653 

 

I get caught up in that sometimes. Since starting full-time work in an office, it's been a challenge to go about saying "hi" to everyone and that sort of thing. 

 

I also find it great that you have found a good strategy in declining invitations. I think I might has messed that part up and just declined a lot of stuff until my old friends just disappeared. 

 

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Re: Why am i being so unsociable?

Hey BeachBabe

 

Totally understand where you're coming from, and to be honest I think it's totally normal. 

 

There are days where sometimes I would rather just stay at home, watch a movie or maybe play a game.

 

We need those kind of days anyway, going out all the time and constantly being active will burn you out. 

 

However, I would like to encourage you when asked to go along with your friends. There have been times when people have asked me to go out and I would rather stay at home, but everytime I decide to push and go along I always end up having an amazing time! 

 

Lounging around sometimes is needed, although it will get boring after a while. Even if you dont share the same interests as your new group, still join in becuase you might find new interests. 

 

There's nothing wrong with wanting a bit of personal time