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house parties :^)

How???? If you're someone that's able to survive in the jungle of split bottles, screeching students and lack of chairs can you please provide me (an introverted wreck with social anxiety) some tips?

 

I know they're not that bad. I just went to a friend's house party and he's actually a really wonderful and welcoming guy so I was sure that all his friends would be really approachable as well. It's just so intimidating when you're in the midst of 60 people and you can'T HEAR SHIT :') because everything is just too loud. 

Re: house parties :^)

Hiya @sylviaisaplant, it's nice to meet you! Reading this has totally made my night, your humour in this strange situation is cracking me up. I also think I'm becoming delusional. 

 

First off, congrats on taking that first step and actually going to your friend's house party! I'd imagine that this was completely outside your comfort zone, so thats a massive achievement initself. Honestly, I'm not the survivor type when it comes to the social jungle of the roaring ba-boom bass, red cups a-flying and the wild creatures squeeling. Heck, I'm yet to even set foot in such a place! So I'm not exactly a qualified hunter. Hope you don't mind. Smiley LOL

 

I'm not too sure on how to approach people when you can't hear anything tbh, I suppose just getting into the vibe and enjoying yourself might work. People see you having fun and so they tend to have fun with you. Besides, everyone'll probably be too wrecked to judge heh. You could maybe ask your friend to introduce you to some of his other friends?

 

I was talking to a friend about anxiety coping strats for social situations something like this, and they said that they if they needed a breather, they would whip out their phone and get lost in it (the logic being that people are less likely to bother you when you're lost taken occupied). You could also try fleeing to bathroom by whatever means necessary*, and hopefully secure some valuable peace and quasi-quiet time. 

 

Hope there's something vaguely helpful there! Smiley LOL

  

*Although a potential option, I personally would NOT recommend pole-voting over** the kitchen table.

**If in doubt, simply recall that if you can't go over it, and if you can't go under it, then you have to go through it.

Re: house parties :^)

I totally get what you mean @sylviaisaplant
Just like @nyke I think that it's amazing that you went to the house party in the first place!
It can take a lot of courage, especially when you have social anxiety!
I like to always go with another friend, someone who is my 'safety net'. It really helps and I'm more chatty that way since I know that person is there in case it gets awkward or I don't know anyone else Smiley Happy
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Re: house parties :^)

Hi @nyke :')

(I'm glad that I'm not the only hysterical night owl)

Smiley Surprised I should have thought to ask my friends to introduce me! :') Honestly after prying myself out of the comforts of my toasty bed sheets just for the promise of mountains of pizza, I really had nothing else on my mind except for avoiding all social contact through destroying my health with greasy happiness (but sadness the day after, when I realise that my stomach is not coping and I have indigestion). In all serious, I think I don't make the effort to ask loads of questions to people that I do have the chance to talk to. Sometimes my brain is such a mush that I honestly have no idea what to say other than "Hi. What's your name?". And sometimes my phone (and the bathroom) becomes too much of a crutch, and I find myself using them even before I've tried to be social :^( 

maybe pole-vaulting should be my new crutch Smiley Surprised

I'll go through them buddy. I'll grab the nearest spoon and claw a hole through their body to go through. I'll do it for you :') (too graphic? :")!)

Re: house parties :^)

hi @missep :')

thank you!! I guess it's strange feeling proud of myself for doing this but darn it! I'll take the compliment because this is my first attendance at a house party and it was a terrifying ride :")

I'll make sure to conscript someone as my designated 'safety net' next time :")!

Re: house parties :^)

Hahaha @sylviaisaplant, I hate it when those convo starting questions decide to fly out the front door, back door and all the windows in my mind, whenever I need them the most. They then come knocking by some three hours after the event. /sigh

It might be worth finding three or four questions that you could whip out whenever you need to make small talk? There's thousands to pick from, conversationstartersworld.com has this massive compilation if you want to be original or something. Alternatively, you could maybe play a bit of a game, where you try and identify the most interesting thing about the person you meet and ask them about that (i.e. is there something about what they're wearing, do they have an accent, or you could literally ask what the most interesting thing about them is). That should get the ball rolling, maybe? Maybe you could compliment the person you meet on something? (And hopefully it won't sound like you're hitting on them. Smiley LOL) Honestly I'm being a bit hypocritial suggesting strategies that I've never tried myself, so let's work through this together! xD

 

pole-volting should definitely be your new crush -- erm -- crutch

Re: house parties :^)

good on you! @sylviaisaplant Smiley Happy
I'm proud of you! It's a big accomplishment honestly!
Keep us updated on how you go if you bring a designated safety net haha.
Smiley Happy