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i like my best friend :/

I have a crush on one of my bestfriends, it scares me cause I can't tell if she's bi, but the one thing that really confused the hell out of me is when I accidentally touched her thigh and she started laughing and said: "that felt weird". she's been flirting with me for so long but all my friends are friendly and we're like that. what do i do? or how do i deal with this?


also im not out at all, very very closted, my grandpa is very homophobic and my parents are aswell. so literally nobody knows but two online friends so ye. i think im bi 



Re: i like my best friend :/

Hi @aircatcher , I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling confused with your feelings for your friend. It's completely normal to feel like this, especially when you're not sure what signals someone is giving out, and it can be hard to navigate! 


There's some really great resources on ReachOut about sexuality and relationships, coming out can be a confusing time, especially if you're worried about the reactions you may get from family and friends.


There's a link here that may be useful, which heaps of resources to read, including videos from people talking about what it was like when they came out.

I also just wanted to share this resource - feelings of anxiety about your sexuality are really common, and this infographic can help you to work through those, and gives some really helpful ideas about different kinds of support out there.


There's a lot of people on the forums who've been where you are now, and hopefully they can give you some advice and support. We're really glad that you reached out here Heart 


Check out our community activities calendar for August 2020 here

Re: i like my best friend :/

Hey @aircatcher,


Sorry to hear you're feeling confused about the situation with your friend, that sounds really tough, especially when you're not sure if they reciprocate the feelings you have towards them. It also sounds super tough that some of the people around you are homophobic. I wanted to start by saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with being bi and it's awesome you could reach out on the forums and talk to your two online friends. 


I think a lot of us can relate to the challenges of not knowing if somebody reciprocates the feelings you have towards them, it can be a really tricky thing to navigate!


As I was questioning my sexuality during school and I wasn't sure how people would respond, I sometimes tried to casually drop something in the conversation that may tell me how the people around me would react if I told them I was questioning my sexuality. By doing this, I was able to confide in a couple of people around me who I knew would be completely accepting of who I was, regardless of who I was attracted to. Are there any friends or people that you're close to in real life that you could chat to about your feelings? 


As @Janine-RO, Reach Out also has some awesome resources that you may find helpful!






Re: i like my best friend :/

Don't worry. Just be yourself. I think you have to talk privately and honest. If you are friends, you will definitely understand each other! I would advise you read this article


Re: i like my best friend :/

Heyo @aircatcher Smiley Happy


Im happy that you're reaching out and exploring your sexuality. Not everyone will understand or agree with who you are as a person and I know it can be hard especially if they are your family. Dont feel pressured to open up to them if you are not ready, just know that you most likely will have to sometime in the future. But first figure yourself out first and where you stand with your sexuality.


With your best friend I think the first think you could do is to figure out her sexuality and if there's a possibility she is Bi and maybe take the convo from there. Dont pressure her but just have a casual chat if you can. I also dont think its fair if shes knowingly flirting with you without making things clear as it can create confusion and tension where there shouldn't be. Since you guys are best friends, I think you should just clear it up with one another without going into the discussion of you maybe having feelings for her,  maybe save that discussion after you've figure out her intentions and where shes stands with her sexual preference to avoid giving yourself false hope. 


But just a small warning, im not saying dont date your best friend, but really think hard about it and how it can affect your friend group. Its sad to say but ive had friends in my group who dated and things get really weird for us sometimes and if they break up it can get messy. Just something to think about, and I dont want to discourage you. Be brave with your choices, but give time to think about it and talk to your friends. 


Hope this helps and best of luck !