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How to cope when you've always been down and never asked for help

Re: overwhelemd

Hey there @overwhelmed, welcome to ReachOut! 


It seems like you've had some tough times which you've tried to cope with on your own, and sometimes it is difficult trying to keep your issues inside and away from others. You don't necessarily have to continue doing that though - it's perfectly okay to ask for help, and there are a bunch of ways you can go about it. Is there someone in your life that you would consider opening up to? If not, there are services like Lifeline (13 11 14) that you can call and chat to, or you could visit your local headspace centre. You could even talk about what you're going through here, and we can try and help you out if you would like Smiley Happy

What do you think?

Re: overwhelemd

Hey @overwhelmed, thanks for joining us here on ReachOut.


What I've taken from your post is that you have been struggling alone for a long time. It sucks that you've been dealing with these feelings by yourself, no one should have to struggle on their own, but the fact you have chosen to share with us what you've been going through is a strong choice you have made. I'm really happy you shared this with us.


Seeking help can be difficult, for sure. Are there any things in particular that have made it hard for you? Some of the reasons others have had trouble seeking help include:


  • Not having anyone to talk to about the things which worry you the most.
  • Wanting to solve problems on your own.
  • Feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable, scared or stupid about the idea of seeking help. 
  • Concerns about confidentiality or your parents finding out.
  • Hoping the problem will resolve on its own. 
  • Not knowing much about mental health, or whether the problem is serious enough. 
  • Not knowing how to access mental health services.
  • Negative experiences when you tried to get  help in the past.
  • Not being able to get help for practical reasons (e.g. not enough money, waiting times, or living in a rural area). 


Do any of these seem like things you have found troubling before?


The right coping strategies can definitely help you when you're feeling stressed, dealing with tough times or when you're facing a difficult challenge. It is common for different strategies to work for different people though, so it's important to try out a number of coping strategies to see which works best for you. RO has a handy fact sheet about building better coping skills that will be a good place to start. If that gives you some food for thought, you might also like the community's mega list of strategies and distractions. Pick a few to try out and let us know what works for you. Oh and don't forget to introduce yourself – I'm keen to know who you would be for a day Smiley Happy

Re: overwhelemd

Hey thank you, appreciate the warm welcoming..

you know my whole I was told never share your private life or weaknesses/private problems with anyone that it all should stay inside and be solved on its own. But now I feel like I've built myself up for disaster, the worst thing about opening up is feeling vulnerable

I've tried taking that initial step with getting in contact with head space but the worst part is building the courage to go in and be who I am and admit to any sort of sadness out loud

I've always been able to pack it up, sweep it under the carpet, leave it for another day sort of thing but now it feels like i can't even control it anymore, even coming online feels so hard to do Smiley Sad

Re: overwhelemd

Hey @overwhelmed 

You have taken the first step, opening up and sharing things you have kept to yourself for a long time can take a bit of time to do, and that's okay!


Sometimes communicating in different ways can help with getting comfortable with opening up.


Have you tried writing things down and sharing it with HeadSpace that way? You could also start talking via eHeadspace and have a go at starting to open up that way before taking that next big step and talking to someone face to face. What do you think about that?  

Re: overwhelemd

Hey @overwhelmed, how are you doing? Have you had a go at any of the coping strategies above? Let us know if we can support you in any way. Even if you'd just like a sounding board, we're here for you.

Re: overwhelemd

Hey thank you

I've tried going through eheadspace

but i cant even describe the amount of mental/emotional pain, lately I've become so anxious I feel like it's all I can focus on and my days are just waisted trying to figure out why I'm feeling like this and how to stop it.

I'm blessed with so many things and accomplished what I set out to accomplish. I shouldn't be feeling like this there's worse off people, I feel bad for feeling like this. I've never been able to hold friendships they always seem like a short term thing like after school I stayed in contact with no one, at uni I found it hard to develop friendships then once I did with two girls it lasted throughout the three years of uni and then completely lost contact afterwards, my old work had develop friendship with coworkers then once I found a new job we kept in contact for a couple months then again lost contact. now at my current work its just work colleagues I haven't developed that sort of friendships I just can't seem to connect with people and never ever have anything to say...

On my Facebook I have all these people but never once speak to anyone.

All I do is worry worry worry and worry some more....

Re: overwhelemd

eheadspace has been going okay, been using and learnt some meditation techniques to help relax

Re: overwhelemd

Hey @overwhelmed! It's great to hear that you tried some of the mediation techniques. How did they work out for you?

It does seem like a lot to go through sometimes, but it's really wonderful that you tried some strategies out despite all of the pain you are going through at the moment Smiley Happy