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reaching out to an old friend is hard

Have anybody else had a friend, who you miss so so much?

 

Even if you have good (ish) friends now, you just really miss being able to laugh and hang out with them.

 

I've been feeling this for a couple of years now, one of my old best friends and I went to different high schools and for the first few years we kind of kept in touch but, now we hardly ever talk.

 

and people always say "just reach out to them again, meet up, talk, it's not that hard." but it is.

 

I could have everything I want to say to her in a message but thoughts that she doesn't even remember me flood my mind. or if she does remember me, she's much happier with her new friends and everything will just be awkward.

 

Idk, I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever been in the same boat as me.

 

because I wish I could talk to her again like we used to, but everything inside of me tells me that she doesn't care about me, and is happy we grew apart.

this is really long,

 

I'm sorry but does anyone know what I'm talking about?

 

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Re: reaching out to an old friend is hard

Hey @bumblebee12 

 

We're glad that you recently joined ReachOut. Thanks for sharing what's going on for you - that was really brave of you to tell us how you're feeling Heart.

 

I totally get what you mean. Sometimes it can be hard reaching out to others, especially if little Mr/Mrs self-doubt enters our head and tells us unpleasant things like "they probably don't remember me" or "they're probably happy we grew apart."

 

I've definitely had moments where I'm scared to show interest in another person, in case they don't show the same interest in me. You are not alone in feeling this way!

 

I'm wondering if anything has occurred to make you feel like they won't be interested in your friendship...or if you're just wondering this because it's been a while since you spoke...What do you think is making you feel this way?

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Re: reaching out to an old friend is hard

Hii and welcome to the forums @bumblebee12 !

I also get what you mean as well; I've gotten pretty out of touch with my friends from high school and I hardly ever talk to them nowadays even though it's easy for me to message them on various social media platforms. I've also had those thoughts of "oh they have new friends and it'd be weird to talk to them now" even though it'd be probably fine to talk to them now. I think it's natural to grow apart with some people but I don't think that necessarily means that we're no longer friends with them, rather, I think we're just following along different paths in our lives.

If you were to message your old friend, what would you want to say to them?

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Re: reaching out to an old friend is hard

Hey Bumblebee Smiley Happy

I've definitely felt like this with plenty of people. Sharing a good friendship and drifting apart can be really hard. I understand the fear that you have that they won't care as much as you and just blow you off, its clear you care about her and are fond of old memories and want to catch up.
If I were in your shoes, I just do it and message her because the longer that you wait, the more you will overthink. In addition to this, NOT doing it and NOT messaging her will make you miss out and regret not doing it and will probably just continue to eat at you.
Worse comes to worse and she doesn't give the same energy and response that you were hoping for, at least you can start to heal and move on. Its not healthy to pine after someone for that long without doing anything about it. At the very least you will have your answer if you do decide to message her.

Maybe you could start simple and say "Hey ... its been a while since we last chatted, how have you been?
Dont pressure things and come off strong, but keep things casual and slow.
I understand its so much easier to say than to actually do, but if you think of it as this - .You won't get anywhere if you never act on it, regardless of how hard it may be, its better to take the first steps

Hope this helps Smiley Happy
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Re: reaching out to an old friend is hard

hey @bumblebee12
I don't have much advice but I do miss old friends for sure.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**