struggling coming out as bi
Hi i'm a teenager who's struggling to come out at my school! some students have come out and get bullied and struggle a lot because of the stuff they go through. i want to come out but too scared too but i have urges too come out just too see my classmates reactions but i obviously don't want to go through what they do ... but i know ill have to deal with it because not everyone agrees with the lgbtqi+ community. i want to be able to have a girlfriend but not get judged or people to look at me at me like i'm different from them and it's hard to find someone who has also come out at this age but i don't want to wait until i'm older?, i have always had my doubts about liking girls because of the stuff I've heard like its a sin or some crap like that but i know for a fact that i like them because i feel very close to them or i feel a different way, not sexually but something like that... I've seen a few attractive girls and i can't stop looking at them. like if i see an attractive boy i feel the exact same way i'll just go "wow she's hot" or "wow she's... " then go completely speechless? i have also figured that i'm more into girls than boys. So i prefer girls but how do i explain that too someone who is still confused about there sexuality? i get confused on what too say to one of my close friends who is confused about there sexuality? i always say "i just knew" but i know that wont help since when i was confused someone told me that and it didn't help at all... overall i just really want someone to help me come out or give me advice too explain to someone who is straight that i'm bi but prefer girls? (sorry it's so much! it's been bottled up for a while)
Re: struggling coming out as bi
Welcome to the community, and thanks for sharing your story!
First of all I really did want to underline that you and your sexual identity are valid. It is not a sin, and you deserve to be accepted and loved by the people you care most about
It totally makes sense to still feel like you're figuring things out with your sexuality. While we often think of our attraction to others as being set in stone, human sexuality is far more fluid than we are often lead to believe. From the research that has been conducted on sexuality, it is believed to exist as a spectrum. This means that in general people rarely identify as being /exactly/ 50% attracted to men, and 50% attracted to women. Often, many people who identify as bisexual, will find themselves drawn more to one end of the gender spectrum than the other. This can often change throughout your life as well! For example someone might find themselves more attracted to the same sex, after having a same sex partner, while others may find themselves more attracted to gender in intervals. Your sexuality is entirely unique to you, and is valid in whatever way it presents itself as.
I hope this is helpful! There's also a bunch of resources out there than can help advise with the coming out process, including this website here . Let us know how you go!
Re: struggling coming out as bi
Hey @your_favourite_bi_girl_ , thank you so much for sharing your story and opening up to us about your sexuality. This is definitely close to my heart because I identify as a bi woman as well.
I’m sorry that you have been exposed to hatred of the LGBTQI+ community, and that you are fearful of receiving the same treatment. It is aggravating that some people see it as a sin or wrong, when really at the end of the day love is love and happiness is what matters.
i, myself, was always attracted more to guys. However when I would be in relationships with them, I would be tempted to explore with girls. So I think when you are comfortable and ready, exploring your sexuality and finding out your preferences and interests will hopefully make things eventually feel more natural and less confusing.
As @Andrea-RO said, sexuality is fluid, and it doesn’t have to be 50/50. I struggled with coming out as I felt that I couldn’t identify as bisexual because I had a stronger preference for males. So it is perfectly okay to identify as bisexual and like girls more.
In terms of coming out, it really will depend on how ready you are and who you are comfortable telling. I first talked to my closest friends, especially those part of the LGBTQI+ community. They really made me feel accepted and part of the community. From there it’s just about growing the confidence to tell more people, if it is something you wish to share. It’s your story, so you choose if and when you want to share it.
I wish that judgment against the LGBTQI+ (and other communities as well) never existed, but there’s hope in the progression of acceptance around us that one day is will just be as normal as heterosexuality.
Sending love ❤️❤️
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