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the weird one

you know when someone just unintentionally reminds you that you're a weirdo and don't fit in and every bit of confidence you had about being at least semi normal just gets drained out of you? and all of sudden everything you do you think about how your a freak and you know thats all everybody is thinking about

 

me rn 

 

fuck i hate myself

 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: the weird one

You've gone from having an awesome weekend in the ocean to this @j95 that super is not cool, did you want to talk about what happened? Or need some space? Here to listen with the rest of the RO community.

Re: the weird one

@Bree-RO hey
yeah i have had a good weekend
this person didn't mean it, it just kinda reminded me that i'm not like everyone else even though i work so hard to fit in, happens a bit and i dwell on it because i feel ashamed
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: the weird one

its hard to explain, i don't have something wrong with me as in like I'm not like disabled or something but i just know that I'm weird and i have tried my whole life to fit in and i think i do that fairly well but then little comments just remind me that i mustn't be
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: the weird one

Hmm. I hear you @j95 Feeling like an outsider sort of thing? Have you thought instead of going against the grain of the true you, of embracing it? Not to sound super cliche, but this quote is epic -

 

41712bfae164286972cf46335065adba--quotes-people-fake-people-will-judge-you-anyway.jpg

Re: the weird one

Yeah its kind of hard though, man this is so hard to explain. Basically i'm still learning some things and I try so hard all the time and I think I do a good job but when i stuff up and somebody notices it feels crap and it feels like all they see in me is a weirdo and freak - which is the opposite of what i'm trying to do, makes me feel so small and so unworthy. Like I am nothing but this weird person and thats how everyone sees me.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: the weird one

I've gotten to a point where sometimes I don't care what people think of me as in like I just be myself now, I used to care what people thought but now I wear what I want, I go and do whatever I feel like doing, I hang out by myself without caring that people think I'm strange or lonely but its not that, these sort of materialistic things isn't what i mean by being different, i kind of meant like my characteristics, idk if thats the right word 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: the weird one

I hear you. Maybe some more perspective would be rad Smiley Very HappySmiley Happy @DruidChild @redhead @scared01 @Asche what do you guys think? 

Re: the weird one

@Bree-RO
eg: sometimes i need to think more before i speak and its something i'm working on and i do it most of the time, i already feel bad about it being something i have to work on because most people learn these kind of things when they are much younger but i never did, so when I don't think before i speak and somebody says something like "wtf why did you say that" "or that probably wasn't the best thing to say" "you should of really stopped talking" or they get short with me it makes me upset and reminds me that I'm not doing so good at trying to be normal and they all see that I'm weird and thats all they see in me, like i try so to appear like these things aren't an issue for me but when other people notice it feels so crap and i feel so ashamed

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: the weird one

Hmm @j95 I kinda sounds like you're trying so hard to be a healthy person and make things better for yourself, but people don't always acknowledge how hard you're working. It is really hard to feel like the odd one out; is there anyone who you hang out with, where you feel like who are is valued?