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uncomfortable with my body

Hi guyys,


im new to reach out and i don't really know how it works. just wanted to know if anyone else sometimes feels like this. (im 14 btw)


i tell myself that Im fat so i diet, but then that crashes and burns so i end up 'treating' myself with a few sweet things. then i feel really guilty afterwards so i scold myself. im so confused... is dieting good or bad? am i fat or skinny? do i even deserve food? how much should i be eating, because i feel like a pig all the time...


thanks in advance xxxx



Re: uncomfortable with my body

Hey @xx_bubbles_xx 


Welcome to! Sometimes, we can feel insecure or not as great with how our body looks - so you're definitely not alone. We all come in different shapes and sizes and there's beauty in everyone of us. 


Personally, I don't find dieting bad - it really comes down to how you diet. It really is ok to treat yourself once in a while or schedule a 'cheat' day to take small breaks from eating healthy. What's not ok is when you end up depriving yourself of food, beating yourself up about eating certain foods and feeling bad about yourself. I believe that maintaing a healthy diet as well as doing some regular exercise could benefit you - not only in reaching your goals in looking your best but also feeling your best. 


Instead of focusing on the what you can't eat, how about thinking about what you can eat? The upside of this is that you can discover so many different recipes and types of food that you could cook/make as well as being healthy at the same time. Scheduling a 'cheat' day or saying to yourself that you'll have a small treat at the end of the week is also a wonderful way too. This way, you can still indulge in sweet food without going overboard or feeling pressured to stick with nutritious stuff. 


With exercising, you can make this fun by doing some group fitness with friends or family. Doing some simple tasks to get fit can also be beneficial (e.g. obstacle course, skipping, throwing frisbee, playing tag, trampolining, going to the beach for a swim). And they're practically free! I believe that the more fun you have with it, the more you would do it  - out of enjoyment rather than as an obligation. 


If you're still feeling  confused about dieting and eating healthy, you can check out Eat For Health. They have a nifty diagram and tips on eating well. However, if you are feeling negative about your body image or struggling what is good/bad eating, you could also contact The Butterfly Foundation. T.B.H is a wonderful organisation that are more than willing to help if you feel that you are struggling. They have counselling, web chat and a support line that you can call on 1800 33 4673. On ReachOut, we also have a factsheet on self-confidence that may be useful to you too. 


Hope this helps and take care!


Stay excellent

Re: uncomfortable with my body

Hey @xx_bubbles_xx!

Welcome to ReachOut! I'm glad you posted. I went through really, really similar stuff as you when I was 14. It wasn't until I looked back at photos of myself a few years later and guess what - I wasn't fat or ugly, even though I felt like I was at the time. I was a nice looking, normal size 14 year old girl. I felt bad about myself, so I thought there was something wrong with my body. Smiley Sad So I just want to say to you what I wish someone had said to me - you're not alone in feeling this way. We get lots of stupid messages through TV and magazines and sometimes peer pressure at school which can make us get insecure about our bodies and the way we look.

There is absolutely LOADS of information on ReachOut about body image, and why we can sometimes feel unhappy with ourselves:

Body Image

I'd especially recommend the article on "What is body image" and also the article on Health at Every Size which has some great tips on being healthy and happy.

You are totally perfect and beautiful the way you are. I don't even need to see you to know that. Smiley Happy Please accept that compliment as coming from my 14 year old self, who was also perfectly lovely looking, even though she didn't realise it at the time. Smiley Happy


Good luck!





Re: uncomfortable with my body

Thank you so much, this really means a lot coming from a real life example! Smiley Happy

Re: uncomfortable with my body

Hey @xx_bubbles_xx

Since I was probably your age, I have always been dieting or trying new crazy fads and everytime I would crash and I remember a few years ago I was a good weight but because my friends were all slim and TV is so crap I started dieting really bad and it backfired and I gained double the weight I lost. So after that I dont think about dieting, its bad for me because of how I did it but as @Myvo said its how you diet.

I think being healthy and happy with yourself is so important. At the moment I am changing my lifestyle so eating healthier and exercising and doing things right which means having treats from time to time and thats fine because I'm healthy and my body is looking and feeling great.

Don't think about fat or skinny, think about healthy and happy. If dieting makes you unhappy then it probably wont work for you. Basically on how much you should be eating, its all about portion control and you can have anything you want in MODERATION.

Just take care of yourself and listen to your body, it's worked for me Smiley Happy

**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: uncomfortable with my body

Hey @xx_bubbles_xx - welcome! I too am glad you posted and want to back up what blithe said, especially about checking out the Health at Every Size info. It's so tough trying to love your own body when you are being bombarded at every turn by unrealistic expectations of appearance. Our bodies are capable of so many amazing things, they don't just exist to fit crappy stereotypes of beauty. If you listen to what your body tells you it wants to eat, it will usually steer you in the right direction. If you can find a form of movement that makes you happy, then go for it! For example, I've always been really terrible at cardio but recently discovered that I am super awesome at lifting weights and I love the feeling of being strong. Is there anything like that you enjoy?

Re: uncomfortable with my body

Try yoga- you feel fantastic afterwards! Smiley Happy find a class you like and enjoy! Smiley Happy

Re: uncomfortable with my body

I agree with @ElleBelle about pretty much the whole post- great one! I agree that your body generally tells you when and what to eat, and although it's hard to recognise this sometimes it just takes some time and it is also 100% okay to just do what you want sometimes!


I also agree that the media has helped to construct an unrealistic idea of the human body, both male and female. But I do think this can change. Even by single people saying, no that isn't what my body is like but I'm okay with that because this is me- starts to make change, although I know how hard this can be too!


The other thing I like to think about is that my body allows me to do so many things- from playing sport down to patting a cute a dog or feeling the sand under my feet. It's so easy to forget that the little things are all because of this body we have too!

Re: uncomfortable with my body

Hey @xx_bubbles_xx first I just wanted to stay trust me you are not alone by feeling that way. I think 3/5 girls at the age of 14 have felt that way. You need to try to find a balance in your lifestyle and everyday diet to make it work and maintained. Don't put too much pressure on yourself you are still young and growing. It can be hard because you are at an age were you feel the most pressure but if you accept yourself and know that people have different body types I think you'll be fine. 

Don't ever deprieve yourself from food that's probably the worst thing  you can do rather find moderation and allow yourself to enjoy your teens without feeling horrible about yourself. 

Once you have found to accept your self image it makes it easier for everyone else too..


Best of luck Smiley Happy 

Re: uncomfortable with my body


hey @xx_bubbles_xx 

How are you going?

You are definitely not alone with feeling insecure about your body, but that doesnt mean that you should Smiley Very Happy

Moderation is the key I think

But it isnt all about food and diets, body image and self esteem have a lot to do with how we think, changing our thought patterns can sometimes help to make us see ourselves a bit more clearly - see our true beauty on the inside and out!

There are heaps of fact sheets about self talk, negative thinking, self esteem etc

Here is a fact sheet on self confidence and how to get it!

and here is one on figuring out and using your strengths


Sometimes its easy to just see the things we arent happy with in ourselves

What if we spent even half of that energy on the many things that we are good at?


I also love @rt262 s example! Feeling sand between our toes and patting cute dogs is a definite positive about bodies/ life in general!