why me

[Sap0]

At the end of september i was hoping to have my driver's licence, since then I have had health problems one after the other,

the last time i posted on here i was talking about being diagnosed with congestive cardiac failure, and now on top of all the other things I have happening with myself 2 weeks I suffered a heart attack, I find it very hard to talk about because Im far too young to be having a heart attack during the time I flat lined more than 5 times, clearly I have a purpose in life to still be here.

It all still seems like a bad nightmare and that it never really happened I cant face the reality of the fact that it has actually happened and that night it happened could have been the end for me. When I do talk about its like im talking about someone else because "it wasnt me", I finding really hard to cope with and actually face the reality, I have never been through so much health problems i my life in such a short space of time. Im too scared to leave the house in case it happens again, and it was something that occured in the matter of minutes no warning signs or anything but luckily the paramedics and mica team responded within a matter of minutes, the amount of pain i was in was excruiating. 

After 4 days in hospital Im home trying to take it easy but the amount of stress here is unbearable if you can imagine living with 9 people whom are family, so im here recovering and then being told problems that they want me to look at or take care of, and listening to others things that i guess i didnt need to hear as it made so really angry and upset, not something you need after a heart attack I was me to be taking it easy and relaxing. 

Anyway I now on medication once again for the rest of my life to stop anymore blockages in my arteries.

And now Im going to live in the US with a friend an his fiance and hopefully a new start to a better life, none of my family are happy about it, and want me to reconsider but that aint happening just a matter of getting funds to leave, and Im then gone

[KitKat]

Hey @Sap0 it sounds like you have had a really intense past couple of months! I can't even begin to imagine how scary that situation would be. We tend to assume that heart problems are something that only "older" people have to deal with, so I can totally see why actually experiencing it would seem so surreal! It's not something that most of us are prepared for, especially when we are younger. I just wanted to commend you on your really courageous attitude thoough - that you still have a purpose in life to be here. I think that's such an awesome way to think about such a scary experience.

Living in a house of nine people also sounds like a full-on experience, let alone having to listen to a whole bunch of issues and having to take care of them while you're trying to recover! Have you been able to talk to your family about how this is really stressing you out? Your family might not be quite aware of how much pressure and stress that they're putting on you.

Reach Out has a really cool fact-sheet about building coping skills which you might find useful! I think some of them may be especially relevant to your situation right now like having designated "me" time. They also have a handy fact-sheet about ways to relax which could give you a few ideas as well! Have you found a favourite way to relax yet ? Mine is taking a long, hot bath while reading a book!

[ElleBelle]

Wow @Sap0 that sounds like a really scary experience. Did the hospital offer you any sort of counselling? It sounds like you could really use some extra support. Don't forget about Lifeline too - 13 11 14.

Taking meds for the rest of your life isn't so bad. Lots of us probably will be for conditions both physical and mental, but if it helps us all stay healthy and safe then it's worth that bit of hassle. Your USA trip sounds exciting but have you budgeted for health care? It's not nice and accessible and cheap to see a doctor like it is here, and with a pre-existing condition you might find it tricky to get insurance.

[ruenhonx]

Hey @Sap0

I think what everyone has given you is great advice and it sucks that you are going through this right now.

The US is a big move and it should be interesting and new and that sounds like a real adventure. I hope things work out for you there. I'm sure your family will come to terms with it sooner or later and if not hopefully they can just be there to support you.

Let us know how you go

[Sap0]

Thank you for all the wonderful support regarding my health issues, I was luckily able to get into see my counsellor and talk to her about what happened, she that heart attacks actually cause alot of psychological problems, i told im strong but i think enough is enough, I have had an introduction appt at the cardiac rehab which starts back on the 6/1, I dont know how I will go though because i have total numbness in my left hand might bit hard to hold on to things whilst exercising.

I havent been sleeping to much due to the fear of it happening again, really strange because part needs to talk about it but the other part gets chest pains like its happening allover again.

Anyway we had a wonderful xmas morning nice and peaceful, but that night i answered the phone and it was one of mums' sisters calling to wish us a Merry xmas, anyway she asked how i was and told her the story, and mentioned about moving to the US what a big mistake i swear i copped the biggest ear bashing about how im not thinking properly and that they may not let me in the country, on and on for about 20 mins or more in the end i just went and gave the phone to mum i was so upset she made me feel like ever decision i make is not the right one, but as I said to her this is what i need right now butshe wasnt  listening to me anyway, I cried and cried my heart out for about 15 mins.

I hope everyone had a wonder xmas, please all have a happy safe and healthy new year and thank you all for your support since i joined. Its been a pleasure being able to aanswer your posts and hope they made a difference. I will still be able to be on when i move so there is no forever good bye i will still me here maybe just not as much as I would like.

[blithe]

Merry (belated) Christmas, @Sap0. I'm sorry to hear about your health problems, but glad to hear you had a mostly peaceful Christmas. And good luck with your big move! 

blithe

[KitKat]

Merry Christmas @Sap0 ! Wishing you all the best for your future! And Reach Out will always be here for whenever you decide to pop in! (: