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Re: How to speak safely about self harm on the forums

Thanks for bringing your thoughts to this discussion @Tiny_leaf - I always really appreciate the way you articulate yourself and express your insights. 


You raised the significance of what kind of message RO are giving to people in crisis. We want to assure yourself and the wider community that if someone was not safe whilst posting on the forums we have processes in place to ensure that person is supported by RO in getting the help they need in that moment. 


If someone in the community is safe but feels like they need to talk about self harm they are more than welcome to do that. They just need to make sure they mention somewhere in the post that they are not in danger.


Unless we're told that directly we sit with the uncertainty of whether someone is safe or not and may mean we need to take action on our end to get the person immediate emergency support. We want to make sure we only bring in emergency services when we have to (when someone is feeling unsafe and need urgent help)- this is why telling us whether or not someone is safe is so important.


You are 100% on the money when you raise the importance of having a resource list for people who want to seek support as well as lists of ways to avoid self-harm/distractions. Thank you @Bee for providing some of the resources and threads we already have Heart 


It's totally up to you @Tiny_leaf but if you were feeling up to it we would love to have you put together a thread that links all the resources and distraction/stimming/self harm distraction threads we have. That way we can do our best as a community to have options available for people who slip between the gaps in service delivery. 


Let us know what you think and thank you again for your feedback - it's conversations like this that help to build the community and make it stronger!


Re: How to speak safely about self harm on the forums

@Bee @Bre-RO 


Sorry if I'm explaining myself a bit weirdly, my anxiety triples whenever I try to suggest anything...

Idk how much sense this'll make but here goes:


Firstly, I 100% agree that confirming safety is important. I personally get incredibly anxious when I don't know if someone is safe, and having that confirmation has probably saved me from a lot of panic attacks.


About the resources RO already has, they're really useful for building up a toolbox of coping methods to use later when things go wrong. 

But in the middle of a crisis, getting through that amount of information, following a few different threads to find a good strategy, etc. can be really difficult.

Honestly when I'm in crisis I'm sometimes too upset to even get through to a helpline.


What I'm thinking of is that kind of information but in a condensed and accessible form for someone who's in a crisis.

That way they would have something effective and easy to work through, which could help people stay safe if they're unable to get through to a helpline, if they need something to do while waiting for a counselor to become available or if for some reason the helpline didn't help.

Ideally this wouldn't be needed but I know from experience that helplines aren't always as helpful as they could be..


This resource could be structured in a few ways.

One would be something like this, which would allow people to do a step by step process and would work well in digital forms.


Another would be a resource that could also be printed out, and might be closer to this resource from a UK website (they actually have a lot of good resources which are available to anyone in the world)


Essentially I'm thinking of a simple crisis tool kit with:

• self harm alternatives - preferably ordered by what emotions they can help with 

• simple self care suggestions

• a list of helplines 

• what to do if it isn't helping (eg. get the attention of a responsible adult, get somewhere safe, call 000) because it's important to add that so that if it doesn't help someone they have somewhere else to go from that


It would be a way of collecting the information most useful in a crisis into one place, making it as accessible as possible and making it easy to link.


Does that kinda make sense?

Re: How to speak safely about self harm on the forums

Hey @Tiny_leaf 


I think you communicated your ideas really well! Especially since your anxiety triples when making suggestions.


These ideas are invaluable and we are excited to start working on a tool-kit that the community can access when in crisis. I think having all the resources in one place would be super helpful so thanks for taking the time to put that into words for us Heart 


We want to encourage the community to continue sharing ideas here for what could be useful in the tool-kit!

Re: How to speak safely about self harm on the forums

@Tiny_leaf that makes sense, thank you for explaining Smiley Happy
I had a breif look at the links and they look good.

Excited to see what the toolkit ends up looking like @Bre-RO!


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Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart


Re: How to speak safely about self harm on the forums

@Bre-RO one thing that might help with getting suggestions could be a GR style discussion.

Resources are often improved when there's input from the people they're for, and by making a separate thread more people would know that this is a thing they can give suggestions for.