Some Advice
Hi,
This is my third post about making new friends and being scared to get to attached. I feel like now I've kinda decovreved the other end of the scale. Like I'm now worried about doing stuff alone and not seeing everyone, and then they will disappear. Like I've managed to tell some friends about me being afraid to get close to people, and that did help a bit, but I feel like I can't do stuff by myself if that makes sense. I'm not sure what to do because it's a hard act of wanting to get close with people, and then not doing anything because I don't want to explore Australia and lose my friends if I hang out for a day.
Comments
Hi @anonymous45, thank you for sharing this. I’ve read your other post and I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way. Navigating relationships especially newly formed ones can be tricky and scary. I have been in that position and I understand how you’re feeling.
It seems that you have managed to tell some friends about your concerns about getting too close to people and that is a very brave thing to do. Opening up to others can be difficult so I’m glad that you were able to tell someone about how you feel and that it did help.
I understand your concerns about wanting to keep the friendships but getting scared that you’ll lose your friends if you do stuff alone and not spend time with them. I’ve been in this situation before where I thought that maintaining friendships require constant contact with them and not hanging out all the time will make me lose them. But what I realised is that if I force myself to do things I am not comfortable with just to maintain the friendship, it will only burn me out in the long run. And it will not be good for both myself and my friends. So, it is okay to set up boundaries and to let them know about these boundaries. Sometimes, there are really just things that you prefer doing alone and what you want may not align with what your friends want. And that’s okay! I think it will be good to think about what you are comfortable doing with them and what you are not.
As what others have said before, it’s okay to take friendships slow and figure out what works with you and them. Some friendships may work, some friendships may not. Don’t be discouraged! The right people will come and understand your boundaries.
Also, I want to tell you that you are amazing for acknowledging your feelings and reaching out. I wish you all the best with your friendships and I hope this was of help 😊
