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Very confusing

Hey so I'm back again 😂

 

I am quite proud to say my efforts to remain vigilante have some what payed off. All the drama has subsided and I even was contacted by one of the members of the group and given an apology as well as a sort of promise to support me in the future. 

However with my neurotypical brain, I often come across issues that confuse me. 

In this case it is the same group of people (shocker 😂

This issue comprises of two people, lets just call one person (person a) and the other (person b) 

I have had a previous relationship with person a, which didn't end amazing because it was partially due to them stating how (quote from them directly) 'We dont live together so it would be a waste of time' which was their response to me asking them to perhaps read about my cognitive disabilities (adhd and aspergers) {Also please forgive me if i spell stuff wrong} we had a few issues with a lack of practically respect but ultimitly remained friends as we had been for several years prior to us dating. Person b has spoken to me about how they dont want to date person a and would actually pick person a's friend if given a choice which I see as wrong since person b told me not to tell person a. as in public and with each other person b has never told person a. person b has also told me they find stuff i do with person a uncomfortable for person b, as me and person a dated. but as i see it, person b has no right to tell me these things, because for one, me and person a are allowed to be friends and nothing I have done I see as bad, and most importantly, person b doesn;t even want to fully date person a, (and honestly person b only really speaks of person a as their physical features being their best attribute which i see as also another red flag) Person a however has also made comments which are kinda sus, like randomly bringing up our relationship with person b and telling person b that they are threatened by me due to me and person a's history. 

What do you guys think, because I dont see it is a sign person a showing signs that they would leave person b for me (not like id let them) but also I think person b has no durestiction to tell me what to do as they dont see them and person a as a serious thing and person a is actually their second choice. 

please give me advice or help me unpack this, because I find it all very confusing for me 

Mandu_05
Mandu_05Posted 23-10-2022 11:34 AM

Comments

 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 23-10-2022 08:15 PM

Hi @Mandu_05

 

Thanks for sharing. What a complex situation to be involved in. I don't blame you for feeling quite confused and not sure what to do next. It seems like you're stuck in between the middle of your friends and that it is also difficult to manage your individual relationships with them because of this. Honestly, it doesn't matter who is wrong or right and it would be difficult to determine this anyhow. What matters is what you are willing to do or not do within each of these relationships. You can manage this by setting boundaries based on what you feel comfortable doing. Setting boundaries can be really difficult, especially if other people do not agree but they don't have to. There is an article here on setting boundaries which you might find helpful to read. Does this make sense? Please feel welcome to share your thoughts Smiley Happy 

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