Hi! i have been thinking about this topic lately a lot although ikts not something which is really huge but definately something that is bothering me since last month. So let me start from the very beginning ... So i have recently moved to cairns from india for my masters degree and its been 5-6 months since i have moved to cairns and this problem started around 3-4th month of my stay in cairns. This problem is regarding me and a really close friend of mine whom i have known since last 6-7 years. so this friend of mine who i will call amy was all good with me for intial 2-3 months dropping me messages if i was doing good and settled in cairns well but gradually she started to distance weirdly she would not drop me any messages or wont call me until she need some help from me .. as she is also planning to come to australia for her masters so she would call me or message me saying can we talk ASAP and would ask e for help like monthly expense, accomodation help and blah blah and then once i was done responding to her or helping her she would not message me so basically she would drop me a message when she needed my help and not contact me apart from that .. and when ever we would talk over the phone it was always me who would call her she never called me until and unless she had some work .. but when she would talk to on phone she would talk very normally and nicely for long hours .. and all ofthis makes me feel weird that she contacts me when she has some work and maybe she is keeping a relation with me and talking to me over phone nicely beacuse she needs help with australia stuff as i know she has a tendency to talk to people whom she does not like if she has some work or help needed from them. To add to all of this she didnt even wish me christmas this year and last message that she dropped me was in mid december regarding some bank help. so i really confused as to why she is acting so weird and whats wrong with her ... we didnt have any fight .. we were on good terms .. i just was angry with her when she didnt get into the uni i was studying beacsue of her stupidity and when she had told me she didnt get into my uni i kind of scolded her a bit over the phone for her carelessness but we were fine after that .. she dropped me sorry message and we were fine and now she has got into a uni in australai in melboune so there is nothing that has lead to such weird behaviour like a fight and all beacuse we have had long phone calls even after the uni drama and we were fine and also she had started to act distanced and weird much before this uni drama happened for which i scolded her so tahts not the reason why she is acting weird .. idk .. can anyone help me with what wrong am i doing that amy has distanced herself from me .. and if anyone thinks she is busy and all so she is not connecting or she thinks i am busy so she is not disturbing me so let me clarify she is on vaccation her sem starts in feb so she is free and regardless she can call me for half n hour or so once a month or drop e a message once in a while without work to stay in touch and as far as i am concerned my vacations are going on and she knows that and so i a free so she can contact me as per her convivence ..help plz.. by letting me know what wrong am i doing
Hey @_, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing this with us! This sounds really upsetting that you are experiencing this with one of your close friends. It sounds like you have a really close relationship and enjoy each other's companionship although you have been in different countries. I was wondering if you have tried contacting your friend and checking in with them regularly? Friendship is a two-way street and requires communication from both sides. You mentioned your friend is not busy although they may be hoping for a response from you Have you shared your concerns about feeling distant from your friend with them? Any answer that someone else gives is only going to be based on speculation and assumptions. Your friend is the best source to get this information from so that you can have a conversation on how to move forward. Have you been able to discuss this with anyone else that you know?
Thanks for your reply! I however call her once in 15 days or max once in a month to stay in touch .. and she knows I contact her and I am in touch with her .. also if I’ll discuss this with her she will just say “it’s nothing like that.. I am in touch with you”. However, thanks for your reply and time