Advice please

[Jadei Brown]

My mother just went through my handbag and my purse to see how much money I had and what I had in my handbag… my issue being she didn't ask just picked it up and started looking through it and asking questions bout things in there… please help… I was shocked but too scared to say anything

[Jay-Dee]

Hi Jadei,

Thanks for coming to us here on ReachOut

I can see why you'd be upset - it feels like such an invasion when someone looks through anything of yours that you haven't allowed them to. It just always feels so wrong! Especially if (like me) you're a private person.

I'm not sure what your relationship is like with your mum, but I always think that honesty is the best policy (I know it's an annoying saying, but it's always worked best for me). Can you talk to your mum about this and let her know how it's made you feel? Just let her know that you didn't like that she did that and set the ground rules for the future - e.g. If she wants to borrow money, just ask and you'll see what you can manage (or whatever you feel comfortable with).

Hope that helps.
JD

[Jadei Brown]

I've spoken to mum bout it before.… not the first time it's happened… she seems to think its ok…she doesn't do it cause she wants to borrow money she just does it cause she feels like it… really annoys me but I'm too scared to say anything cause I don't want to upset her

[Ali818]

I had a similar experience with my mum and dad. Dad just goes through my bag if I lost something and my mum used to say she never went through my room til I found out she read my journals. I guess just saying you don't see it as okay would be the best option or just be honest about what is in there... Not sure on the exact situation but good luck

[mischiefmanaged]

It's really important that you are honest with her as others have said. Tell her how it is upsetting you and you feel it's an invasion of your privacy. But make sure you do it at a time when you are both relaxed and in a calm environment - not when you are in the middle of a screaming match!
Good luck with it - I hope things work out for you.

[ruenhonx]

Hey Jadei 

An invasion of privacy is a terrible thing and its so disrespectful as well. My mum has gone in my room and gone through my things without my permission and we have argued over this privacy. Sometimes I think because she is my mum she can do whatever she wants so talking hasnt worked, she just doesnt listen so I've just hide what I need to from her whether its shoes, money or information but thats how I deal with it but if you have a close relationship with your mum have you tried talking to her? maybe writing a letter? 

Hope all goes well