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Advice when parents wont accept partners

Any advice for when your family wont accept your partner of 1.5 years. Its at the point where there is almost a fight every week about it. There's no one from my family that i can talk too, because my parents will eventually find out. Also my partner's and I are in our 20's


Ive tried talking to my parents, but they dont listen. I dont know what to do

Re: Advice when parents wont accept partners

Hey @Tinkmatter thanks for posting on RO. Well done on already trying to chat to your parents already, that's awesome initiative. Do you live with your parents? Sort of sounds like you have to accept your parents not accepting your partner almost? I know it's so frustrating, you are not alone with this it's somewhat common for parents to challenge their childrens relationships. Doesn't make it easier. What is the ideal scenario for you?

Re: Advice when parents wont accept partners

 @Bree-RO Yeah i do still live with my parents, when ive mentioned the idea of moving out, it tends to start a heated argument

Re: Advice when parents wont accept partners

Hi @Tinkmatter


Unfortunately there's not much to do. 'You can't teach old dogs new tricks'. As older people get, the harder it is for them to accept new standards, teach them new ways of thinking. The only way for them to see your point of view is by talking to them and you said you tried that and it didn't turn out too well. 


If you're fighting every week about it, then I think it's not worth it. Talking to your parents about it that is. They sound stubborn and have very deep roots in their way of thinking. You have to ask yourself, are they really going to see it my way? You can't brute force it, they will resist. In their mind, it's like I have x amount of years of life experience and you're just a kid (relatively speaking). 


I think the best course of action is to plan for what to do when your parents find out. Think what is the worst possible scenario? Kicking you out? And then you plan accordingly etc. 

Re: Advice when parents wont accept partners

@Tinkmatter definitely sounds like a tough situation to be in Smiley Sad


While I agree that you can't force someone to think a certain way, it can be helpful to try to understand the reasons why they don't approve. If you're looking for a place to start, this factsheet might be helpful. Failing that, is moving out an option? I know you said your parents aren't a fan of that idea either, but if you can get by financially then it might be your best option.


Thinking of you Heart

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish