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Re: Anxiety about the future

Hey @DruidChild, I'm just catching up with this thread and it sounds you are having some difficulty with your studies and placements. I'm wondering if you're currently receiving any support from your institution regarding these things? Heart Most places have a disability support unit which can help accommodate some of these difficulties and help to support you with these issues, even if that means just making sure you have a supportive supervisor and placement environment.

 

It's completely understandable that you don't want to engage with an environment that has caused you trauma in the past, and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. It's really important that you are able to recognise your limits with your work and study, and it looks like you are able to do this quite well. I'm sorry to hear that your concerns regarding full time work are not being acknowledged. Heart

 

How are you looking after yourself today?

Re: Anxiety about the future

Thank you so much @Shadow, I can tell you put a lot of thought into your words and they’re very true, especially what you said about feelings being inherently neutral. Heart I would love to write about my experience in some way that would help others, I’m not really sure how to go about it just yet though Smiley Happy Thank you for your kindness! 

 

@mrmusic Thank you for your post and suggestions! I’ve been linked with disability before but have let my plan slide - I really need to update the paperwork and stuff. But I’m definitely going to get onto that once semester starts! 

Thank you Heart I did a short workout this morning and the exercise was good, now I’m just playing animal crossing and trying not to think too much! Smiley Happy 

 

One thing I’ve been considering, although I’d need a couple of years of experience first, is enlisting in the navy as a nurse. I love the sea and being near the water and I think I’d do well in an environment that wasn’t a hospital, plus I’d get to help with disaster relief and stuff. I’m just kinda dreading spending my life in a hospital Smiley Tongue

 

 

Re: Anxiety about the future

I’m having one of those days where I just want to run away and start again somewhere where nobody knows me. I don’t want my horrible, traumatising past or my overwhelming, awful present. I want to be somewhere far away and beautiful where I can start again and do better this time. 

Re: Anxiety about the future

hey @DruidChild that's a hard feeling to sit with. 

what would you do if you got that fresh start you're dreaming of? 

 

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Talk about Inspiring Women for International's Women's Day

Re: Anxiety about the future

Hey @gina-RO. I think that I just want to be something more than mental illness and recovery and psych wards and abuse and sexual assault and suicide attempts. All I ever do is think about it, and all the people I know only know that part of me, and when I meet new people I end up laying out my whole history again because I don’t have anything else to talk about.

 

I want to go somewhere far away where I can define myself in a different way and let go of all these horrible things that have happened, as though they happened to someone else. I’ve never done anything impulsive or anything just for the hell of it, ever in my life, and I want to do something completely unexpected just because I’m young and I can.  Instead I have to stick to my stupid perfectly plotted ten year plan and live in this stupid dusty city full of memories and pain and trauma and look after my family and do the job I have always been supposed to do.

 

I want another chance. I want to get it right this time. 

Re: Anxiety about the future

Btw I’m not trying to say there’s anything wrong with people who live with mental illness or anything. It’s just so heavy and I don’t want to live with it anymore. 

Re: Anxiety about the future

Hey @DruidChild
That heaviness really sounds like it would be very draining to deal with on a day to day basis. You mentioned that you often feel that you think too much about your mental state, and that you tend to talk a lot about it with new people. 

What are your thoughts about taking some steps to have some different things to talk about that really makes you happy and excited. This way you might not feel as trapped into talking about your mental health with people all the time. You also mentioned that you feel a disconnect with your 10 year plan, but remember if it doesn't resonate with you anymore you can always think about adjusting some elements of it. Is there anyone you can talk to about making a new 10 year plan that would really motivate and inspire you?

 

Re: Anxiety about the future

Thanks for your reply @TOM-RO. I would really like that, at the moment it’s so hard because I do so much caring stuff at home and apart from that I just study and go to therapy....I don’t get to go places or have experiences to talk about. Nobody is interested in housework or textbooks. So it’s a bit frustrating.

 

Yeah I do. Partly it’s because I know I only have a few years before I’ll probably need to move back in with one or other of my parents to look after them (they’re both chronically ill). Right now, what I really really really really really want to do is enlist as a medic in the navy (which I know is lame and morally grey but I just want to help people) but you need at least 2 years experience so I’ll have to work in some hospital for a while first and am really dreading it. 

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Re: Anxiety about the future

It’s great to hear you are thinking about these future pathways you want to travel on. I had a ten year plan before I became mentally ill and I was frustrated because I couldn’t follow it but sometimes these things happen and plans have to change. You gotta take it as it comes. Maybe you could speak to someone like a life coach and rewrite it or you could create a shorter term plan for maybe 2-3 years instead. Good on you Smiley Happy

Re: Anxiety about the future

Thank you @IsabellasRecovery, I will probably speak to my counsellor about it as I see her on Monday! Smiley Happy I really admire your flexibility and resilience in adjusting to the changes your life has brought you.