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Being cheated on

A few months ago my boyfriend cheated on me. He was drunk when it happened and was at his cousins house. Ever since, we haven’t been the same and I need someone to speak to. I haven’t wanted to tell  anyone about it because to me, it feels like I’m the reason he cheated. I feel like I wasn’t good enough and so he had to seek for something more. He has reassured me that he doesn’t remember any of it and it meant nothing and that he won’t do it again but the worst thing is I need constant reassurance but considering he doesn’t like to talk about it, I don’t get the reassurance I need. I’ve been suffering from anxiety and I think the worst contributing factor is the fact I’m very uncomfortable in my body and I feel like I’m not good enough all the time. I just need someone to talk to and some reassurance that everything will be okay because I still really do love him. Does anyone have any strategies on how to control their anxiety or any apps on their phones that calm their mind? Would be much appreciated!

Re: Being cheated on

Hi @mad0331 

 

Welcome to ReachOut Heart I'm really happy you found us! 

 

Firstly, I wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear you've been cheated on. It's a really upsetting experience to go through. We actually have an article here on "How to cope with being cheated on". If you feel up to it, give it a read. The first point the article makes is "Remember: you are not to blame".

 

I think it's worth mentioning that even the most confident and secure people would feel hurt by something like this happening. However, I can understand how struggling with feeling good enough makes this experience even more painful. I'm just wondering if you have anyone in your life that could support you through this? A family member/friend or maybe even a counsellor? 

 

Here is another great article on body image with some helpful resources at the bottom of the page if you would like to explore them. We are also here for you Heart 

 

 

Re: Being cheated on

Hi @mad0331! Welcome to the forums!

Cheating can be a really upsetting and hurtful thing to go through. I understand how it seems to have been a huge blow to your confidence. Smiley Sad
Remember, there could have been a lot of reasons that your boyfriend cheated on you, and you are not to blame for his actions. He had the choice whether to drink and do that to you.

The Butterfly Foundation has a helpline where you can receive support about body image, if that's something you would be interested in.

I also found this app which might give you some strategies about how to cope with body image concerns. We also have a lot of helpful apps for anxiety here. Heart

Re: Being cheated on

Hey @mad0331,

 

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Being cheated on can be really difficult and make you feel worthless, which is not the case at all. You are not responsible for your boyfriend cheating on you, drinking is not an excuse for cheating even though it is often used as one. I'm wondering if you have support of good friends who can be impartial on this situation. Sometimes just talking to a friend about how you're feeling can really help. I'd also recommend checking out the helplines that @WheresMySquishy has linked. I know you and your boyfriend haven't broken up, but there is an app called Break Up Boss that can help with getting through tough relationship times in a positive way. There is also a lot of info on ReachOut https://au.reachout.com/relationships/romantic-relationships

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“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down