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Big mistake

I think I made a really big mistake coming off my meds ever since then everything seems all different in my head and I haven't been the same and i don't know what to do and I'm too scared tovtspkvto my doctor they doubted my decision in the first place but we still did it  i feel so ashamed it hasn't worked out and I'm so scared to talk to someone I'm such an idiot 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Big mistake

Not everything we decide to do works out for us @j95 it doesn't make it any less worth doing. Mistakes are the biggest most useful teacher's we have. We can only learn from them if we take ownership of them though. 

 

There's this thing called shame though that gets in the way of that, it's this short circuit that happens in our head that makes us think that what we did says something about us or our self worth. When shame happens we feel like we've done something bad or that we are bad ourselves. But that's a matter of perspective.

 

Does wanting to be free of medications and the side effects make us a bad person? Does feeling angry or hurt because of past trauma? How about having the courage and grit to keep going and working on something even though it's tough? 

 

I reckon you could look at this from a different angle. I don't think you need to feel shame for trying something important to you. You should feel pride in that. Now it's time to reflect on what's next. What can you learn from this? What's the next step? Maybe it's meds, maybe it's a different type of meds, OR maybe you're not at the point where you can start tackling the things you're feeling that made you need to take meds. 

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Re: Big mistake

@Ben-RO thanks yeah I think I get what you are saying. I decided a long time ago I wanted to go off them and it's been a long process and i don't want to go back on them. I decided I wanted to stop because I just didn't like doing that to myself and the side effects and stuff, I'm happy to work really hard with my psych but yeah it feels like I failed something I worked so hard at for a fair bit of time
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Big mistake

I should of learnt last year when I couldn't cope without meds after I took myself off them , idiot me never learns 

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Big mistake

Did you learn stuff? 

 

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Re: Big mistake

Kind of but I should of learnt I can't go without meds @Ben-RO first time around I should of learnt not second
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Big mistake

I don't want to go back on them but maybe I have to and I'm too scared to tell someone
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
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Re: Big mistake

@j95 I think it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking we don't need meds/can go off them. I've done that a few times with not great consequences, and I know my mum has too.

I imagine the prospect of telling someone you want to go back on them would be scary, but it sounds like an action that you'd really benefit from. What would be the first step, do you reckon? 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //