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Bringing up a difficult topic with my psyc

So this is in relation to this post:

...and al the confusion I've sort of been having around the notion I could potentially be attracted to females.

Naturally if you don't already realise it, I am female.  I saw my psyc on Friday and I said that I wanted to delve into the area of 'relationships' it's something I'm working on.  But I feel like I need to maybe bring this up with her...because I feel like it may have a bit to do with my behaviour.  I don't even know if I am ready...because I don't even know what to think about it all.  I told her I didn't really want to get into the topic the other day.  She asked why and if it was because of how she would react.  I said no, it's because when I leave a session I need to be able to go home and function and do my uni work without therapy on my mind.


I guess I'm not sure if I should say anything and even if I did I don't know what or how I would say it.  All of the hardest things I have had to tell her has been said in an e-mail.  Except for when I lost it a bit a few months ago and started self-harming...that I said aloud, but it was so hard.  I talk in circles, where as if I write it I know it's said and done, and coherent.  Plus I would know she already knows so she can be the one to bring it up...delicately I suppose. 

I was considering e-mailing and mentioning there was something I want to bring up, but I don't know if I can or if I will just yet.  I don't even know if I should and if I'm just making a big deal out of nothing.  Anyway...thoughts  and a little advice might be helpful right now.



Re: Bringing up a difficult topic with my psyc

Oh you poor thing. I'm in tears here.


I can't decide for you what you should reveal about yourself to your psychologist. I know when I say something, it goes from being fiction to being very real, so I know how you feel. You might not be ready for this to be real yet.


But if you were to email her, I would add the part about not being able to literally say the words, and the part about needing to be delicate about it. But, I would presume she was delicate already.


You can go at your own pace, and your psych will read you to gather what pace to go at. She will know when to push you and when to ease off. I don't know if you trust her or not, but you should think about whether you would like to trust her.


It sounds like you are working very hard at yourself, and taking it with just the right amount of seriousness and clarity.


Keep it up! Smiley Happy

Re: Bringing up a difficult topic with my psyc

I agree with t-w, sounds like you are working really hard at this in your own mind already - so make sure your not being to hard on yourself or pushing yourself to talk about it because you think you 'should'. Take your time - if you feel like you want to start the conversation slowly then maybe an email is a good idea - but also telling her than you want to take this conversation one small, slow step at a time... for what you wrote here it does sound like you've got a good game plan in the email idea and you know it's worked for you before... so it could be a good step. Be kind to yourself though!

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Re: Bringing up a difficult topic with my psyc

Hey, @_sagira_ ! Good to hear from you again! I'm sorry that you're still having the issues you are, though.


You said last week that you found letting go was good for you in an employment situation? Were there lessons learnt from that experience that can be applied here, do you think? I told you about the friend of mine who confided his potential bisexuality in me earlier this year? He actually found in subsequent weeks and months that it was in his head and imagination only. Obsessing over it like he had, it had become 'real' or, if it was or is real, bigger and more complex. In any case, you might be encouraged to know, _sagira_, that society is getting to be more accepting of issues around sexuality. There is a Bill before the ACT Parliament presently that, if passed, will extend marriage rights to same-sex couples there. Likewise, an increasing number of American states recognise marriage rights as existing between same-sex couples like they do in marriages between a man and a woman, and NZ has recognised equal marriage rights nationally since August this year. The majority of Australians - and overwhelming majority of young Australians - are in favour of legislating for gay marriage rights in Australia, too. It's only a matter of time before it happens, I think...

Re: Bringing up a difficult topic with my psyc

Hey Sagira,

I think the other answers have covered this really well. There's just one thing I wanted to touch on after reading your post.

I'm not sure whether when you told her that you didn't want to get into it because you had to function after the session without therapy on your mind you were at least somewhat lying to avoid the subject with her or not.
If you weren't, could you perhaps move the appointment to a time when you are able to get into such topics without fear of how you'll function after it?

I think it would be really good for you to email her and mention that this issue is in your thoughts a lot recently and you feel like you should start working it out.
Alternatively, could you bring it to the session written down. That way you wouldn't be constantly wondering when she was going to bring it up.

Good luck.

Re: Bringing up a difficult topic with my psyc

You have all been awesome with your replies.  Thank really does help with sorting through this all in my mind.  I don't know if I will say anything just yet...but maybe sometime soon.


@tesla-weapon I think this is maybe what's making me question and wonder if it's a good idea.  Re: it becoming 'real'.  As saying it loud means it's a thing...and what do I do with that?  I trust her explicityly.  I've been seeing her for over a year now and we have developed a relationship and bond, so that helps a lot.


@Sophie-RO Yes take it slow...I think I need to do this.  I believe maybe because I've had all these feelings towards one particular female recently it's brought it all to the surface and for once instead of slamming it back down as fast as possible I'm actually observing my feelings and reactions to everything.  Maybe too because I noticed an attraction to this girl and I let myself go beyond that by not instantly shutting it down.  It's a but different this time.  Anyway yes, best to not rush anything I don't understand.


@Pi  I'm aware of the current situations regarding Aus and the Bill.  I really want to see it happen because it really gets under my skin that another a corporate body has the right to dicate how one chooses to live their life.  I notice changes and it the world does appear to be changing for the better.  But it's slow.

I don't think because I am obsessing over it is making it 'real'.  I think it's because for years I have been ignoring what's been going on in my mind regarding this particular area of my life...and I am constantly trying to convince myself it's nothing.  But who knows really...and does it actually  Yet despite this I do have issues with relationships in general, so regardless I need to work on  this area and maybe if I know myself a little better it may make it easier.


@Birdeye Good pickup.  I wasn't trying to avoid the subject during that particular session.  I had no intention of bringing it up at that point and we had used up the hour.  She said I we could spend another 15mins on the topic if I wanted to, or we could end it there.  And becase she said to me, 'Alright relationships...what do you want to say...go!'  I was like...urghhhh no.  I told her it's not a topic I can just jump into because I have so many insecurities about different things, then once I start I would probably want to continue.

This particular session was early in the morning compared to when I tend to make them (which is once I am done with uni for the day and can go home and relax...or do yoga to work through it)