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Can't find the words

Hey guys,

 

So I am usually the helper and not the one that is asking for help. That is pretty much how I have been for most of my life. It was a huge step for me to take when I finally admitted to myself that I needed help with my mental health.

 

The professionals I see always talk about how resilient I am and how good it is that I have opened up completely to let them help me. The only problem is, I haven’t. I just wish it was so easy to off load everything, but I can’t. I have tried on numerous occasions, but nothing ever comes out of my mouth. I have even tried writing it down, but I struggle to find the words, I struggle to get everything out of my head. I feel that this is what is keeping me from getting better. I just wish it was easy to get these things out and in the open, or even on paper.

 

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

stonepixie


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Can't find the words

Hey @stonepixie 

 

I can understand how difficult it can be talking about your troubles out loud, particularly when you see yourself as the helper. With the pros that you have been seeing, even though you may not agree with what they're saying about your strengths, I'd say that you are open in trying new things in order to find help for yourself. That indeed is resilience. Smiley Happy

 

If you're struggling to talk it out or write it, there are other ways of expressing how you feel. Have you tried drawing or writing out short bullet points? What you feel doesn't necessarily have to be in perfect order. Sometimes, scribbles, drawings and short phrases everywhere on a piece of paper could allow you to take a look at the big picture. I find that listening to music, particularly music lyrics, can also help in finding 'eureka' moments, as some songs can be very relatable. 

 

Hope this helps and let us know how you go!

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent

Re: Can't find the words

Hey @stonepixie 

 

I understand how hard it can be to open up and let people in. I commend your bravery in doing so. 

I find myself, speaking about things so very hard. Sometimes the words just aren't there, or if I have the words, I just can't get them out.

I agree with what Myvo has said about not always agreeing with the pros, but at the same time please remember they are saying what they see and believe. I had a teacher (who was studying psychology at the time)  who told me I was stronger than I gave myself credit for. At the time I did not believe her. I shrugged my shoulders. But now, a couple years later I can see why she said that to me. And now, I do actually believe what she said! And I hope one day you believe what your pros are telling you now, and that you can see it.

 

As Myvo also said there are many other ways to express your feeling. Find something that works for you and stick with it. It could be poem writing, short stories, journalling, scrapbooking, painting, drawing ect. or a mixture of both. Even lyrics, sometimes you can find something that just explains how you feel.

 

I hope this at least helps in the slightest. And remember that you are so strong and resilient! Smiley Happy


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Can't find the words

Hey @Myvo & @Bee 

 

Thanks for your response. Smiley Happy At the moment, I'm trying to interpret a sculpture I made a craft therapy session I went to last week. The only thing I understand about it is the reason as to why there is no mouth on the face. Everything else about it is still ticking over in my brain.

 

I'm also working on an 'unread letter' of sorts. I'm trying not to edit it too much, if at all. I'm currently up to 1000 words and no where near done. YIKES! I'm thinking I should take this to my next appointment, but just thinking about it gives me an anxiety attack. :'(

 

I guess you can say that these are the dark corners of my mixed up mind that no one is ever meant to see, but I know that without exposing them, I may never get better because these are probably the underlying issues.


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Can't find the words

Dark corners are dark corners for a reason @stonepixie - it's where all the stuff we don't want a spotlight on goes! It sounds like maybe you're not so much deliberately holding back as much as you don't know how to express what's already there. It takes time to find the right key to unlock all that stuff!

Craft therapy sounds like it's helping you get there - the sculpture with no mouth is pretty interesting! Myvo and Bee mentioned some other great ideas you could try, like song lyrics and bullet points. You could also try one of those brainstorm word clouds that teachers used to make everyone do in primary school! Could you email your unread letter to your psych? Whenever I have something I'm really anxious to raise with people, I leave the email sitting in the drafft folder until I'm having a brave moment and then I hit send. Once it's actually out there, I find it actually reduces my anxiety. Sort of a 'what's done is done' type feeling.

Re: Can't find the words

Not sure of what you mean by 'word clouds' @ElleBelle but if it has something to do with writing words all over a piece of paper, then I already want to set fire to it.

I started my 'unread' letter off as bullet points, but it just seemed to flow better in formed sentences. I might have to put it in bullet points for prompts in case I get that 'brave moment' whilst at my appt today.

'Brave moments' are the best. It is what got me the help I need in the first place.


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Can't find the words

Hey @stonepixie,

You're doing so well to have realised that there is stuff you need to talk about. It can take years and years sometimes for people to face difficult stuff. I say this as someone who kept secrets from my counsellors for years. Finally, last year, I went to a new counsellor, told them stuff I hadn't been able to tell my previous counsellors (which was super hard!) worked through some of that stuff with them, then went back to my usual counsellor! So that can be one way of doing it!  I can say that once you get to the right place to finally get it off your chest, there can be a feeling of real relief (even if doesn't mean the problem is solved - at least it's out in the open and you can start to deal with it).

In case it helps, this fact sheet on Seeking Help might help you think through some of the things blocking you talking about this issue, or help you select who you might be able to talk to.

Good luck and let us know how you get on. And remember - it is much easier to help others when you've helped yourself first. LIke they say on the airplane safety video - attach your own oxygen mask before helping others. Smiley Happy

 

blithe

Re: Can't find the words

Hey @Myvo, @Bee and @ElleBelle, and now @blithe Smiley Very Happy

 

Thanks for all of your advice. I just wanted to let you guys know that I was able to talk about everything that has been on my mind at today's appt. 

 

Thanks so much,

 

stonepixie


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Can't find the words

Thats excellent @stonepixie ! I'm so glad you found the courage to let your pro know.

I think what @ElleBelle was talking about, I know as a mind map. Which is, as you described it "writing words all over a piece of paper" Sometimes it can help to just throw words around on a page in no particular order. Even writing down little snippets of how you feel down on a page in no order can clarify how you feel. What you do with it afterwards is entirely up to you. Burn if you must! Smiley Happy You're choice whether you try it or not. Different things work for different people Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart