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Coming Out

Hey people. I know that I am trans and I have known for a while. But there are things that are starting to annoying me a lot such as my name and dysphoria  (it has gotten to a point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror) so I want to come out and hopefully settle these things out. The problem is I'm scared of what their reaction will be especially my family and more specific my parents. I know that they support the LGBT+ community but I am still scared. This has actually gotten to the point that I cry at night because of it so I'm trying to find a way.

Re: Coming Out

Hey @Bookworm2004, thanks for sharing your story here. This is a really big decision to make but I am glad you are ready. It is really normal to worry about what everyone thinks and to be nervous of the result. I can tell how important this is to you and we are here to support you at ReachOut. Have you tried planning out what you might like to say? Where you might say it? When?


We have a few helpful articles and some other threads that you can comment on here but there is also the QLife organisation which has a webchat and a telephone line. It might be helpful for you to talk it out here too! Heart

Re: Coming Out

Hey there @Bookworm2004,
It's wonderful that you want to come out. Do you think you could give QLife a chat?

What's your favourite way of communicating? Say if it's writing, you could write your parents a letter or make them something. Planning out what you can say is also a great way of getting started as you can really think through what you want to say. What do you think?

Re: Coming Out

Hi @Bookworm2004,
Thank you for posting and sharing your story. I think a lot of people can relate to what you've written. @N1ghtW1ng mentioned QLife and it's a really good resource.
Please keep us updated on how it all goes.
It's so important to do what makes you happy Heart

Re: Coming Out

I wish you luck on coming out to your family. It's hard and it will be hella awkward but it's worth it. They support the LGBT+ community so they'll most likely accept you.
Even if they don't, don't let it bring you down.

Re: Coming Out

Hey @Bookworm2004 good on you for recognising that coming out is something that could help you move forward - you've shown a lot of awareness and insight there. I can only imagine how daunting the prospect must be. Maybe think about how you might go  about telling your family. e.g. like @N1ghtW1ng said, could you write them a letter if you prefer to communicate through writing?

Another thing to consider is whether you feel more comfortable with one parent, then you could speak to that parent alone about it first. What do you think?


Looking forward to hearing from you Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Coming Out

Hi. So I think I have found a way to come out to my parents but I am still finguring 

Re: Coming Out

Um....please ignore the post  before this.  Anyway I think I have figured out a way to come out but I am still figuring out the last parts. I think that I am going to write a letter overnight and leave it on their bed in the morning when they are not home and because they are always home before me they will see and open it before I get home. I am still figuring out when I will do this but it seems like the easiest way. I will post once I get a response from them so you can know how it went.

Re: Coming Out

That sounds awesome @Bookworm2004, I feel really happy for you that you have figured out a way to come out! It must be such a lovely feeling to have finally found a way that feels right. It is a really nerve racking thing to do but also something that will hopefully bring out a lot of support and love. How are you going to hold yourself while you are preparing for them to read your letter? Have you decided when you will do it?

Re: Coming Out

Hi @Taylor-RO I have not decided on a date yet and I am currently writing my letter. Actually I think I havev finished it. This is what I wrote. If anyone has experience with this stuff could you please tell me if I should change anything in this. Anyway the letter I have written goes like this:

Dear Mum,

I have been meaning to tell you this for a while but I didn’t know how to and I was scared. I am transgender (I identify as male) and I started questioning myself about a year ago. I came to the conclusion that I was transgender about 7 months ago. I wish to go by the name *** and to be referred with he/him pronouns. I would like to eventually start Testosterone and transition in the future but at the moment I would like to get a binder. If you have any questions about anything please ask because I will try to answer as well as I can. I really hope that you understand and accept that this is who I am.

Love from your son, *** 


I am still quite scared about doing this but I am also excited because if my parents are fine with it I will be able to be myself at last.