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Communication and Relationships

I struggle with communicating with my partner. We're now on a break until I improve in this. Where can I start? I'm making an appointment tomorrow morning to see a counsellor.

Re: Communication and Relationships

hey @T1994 - awesome that you are looking into communication in your relationship... it's tough to communicate well when emotions are running high..

Browse this section on communicating
http://au.reachout.com/wellbeing/social-skills/communication-skills

But also check out:
http://au.reachout.com/managing-pressures-with-your-boyfriend-or-girlfriend
http://au.reachout.com/conflict-in-relationships

What do toher people think?

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Communication and Relationships

Hi @T1994, welcome to Reach Out.

 

If you would like to improve your communication skills, you have definitely come to the right place! We're all about sharing – experiences, thoughts, feelings, helpful tips and strategies... Smiley Happy I noticed you are taking steps to improve your communication skills, well done for identifying that this area could be improved, as many people aren't aware when they are not communicating well. Is your partner also working on strategies to improve the communication in your relationship? Relationships do require ongoing work and there is a need for give and take from both parties.

 

I'm also impressed you intended to reach out to a counsellor. It takes a lot of guts to speak up when we're struggling. How did you go making the appointment? Would you also consider going to a couple's counselling session so you could work on communication strategies together?

Re: Communication and Relationships

Unfortunately, I only realised the issue (s) after others had pointed them out to me. He is, he's been incredibly supportive, even though the last few months have taken a toll on him and our relationship. At the moment I'm waiting to go to my gp appointment for a mental healthcare plan and then I can make the appointment to see the counsellor. I'd like to maybe go to one or two couple sessions but my partner isn't keen at all on counselling so for now I think I'll leave it

Re: Communication and Relationships

Keep looking after yourself @T1994

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: Communication and Relationships

I think you are taking some really great first steps @T1994, and you should be really proud. Try to not get upset at the situation, sometimes it takes a loved one to tell us truths we don't want to hear, but in the long run it is the best thing for us. I've been in the same situation and I'd like to think that I am better for the situation I was in, and the help that I seeked, and I reckon you will be too. Counselling is a great start and will give you an opportunity to have some really great discussions about your communication in a really relaxed environment. Good luck and let us know how you go.

Re: Communication and Relationships

Hi!

 

There have also been times in my relationship with my partner over the past year where I found myself "stunted" (for want of a better word) in my communication style. I'm not sure what was making me uncomfortable - defintely there was nothing about him or between us I was unhappy about at all - I can only think that it was because of the high standards I put upon myself? 

I had some setbacks with uni, work and family that made me feel a little ashamed, and I guesws I didn't know how to broach it? so i clammed up and i think that communication style confused him.

 

I really believe in open and honest communication in all relationships - and usually I absolutely abide by this ethic! Smiley Happy

I guess when you want to make an impression or when you are looking for that cue from them that they are on the same page with you - it boils down to me having let those external things impact on our connection.

 

Well, I havren't given up hope. Life's taught me many things, and no mattr how it will turn out, I'm happy to be me Smiley Very Happy

I think that I have a lot going for me that i feel very lucky for! I now see those external situtaions in better light and don't ljudge myself by those at all - and now I would never ever let anything take the focus away from any good connection I am going to have. Butr I'd probably also always prefer to develop that with someone I can talk freely and be myself with, but also build a better communication styl with in such relationships, as I'm the sort of persoin who learns by doing. Smiley Wink

 

Well, thank god we have a long life to enjoy the journey/s!

Re: Communication and Relationships

Wonderful weekend all!! :-) Having said the previous comment, i agree with Zekk and that no matter how much we all can benefit from finetuning our relating skills, I wanna say too, that for the most part, getting together with my best friend always made me feel 'at home'. You know when you feel comfortable talking about anything? Well, i had that to look forward to! So yeah, it's pretty important to do that.


I do enjoy communicating and hanging out with friends... Getting to know people in my day's work, and doing community visits, where it's so refreshing making conversation with my clients out in the field. Sometimes we are the only people they meet all day...I'd get right back into it as soon i can! :-D

Well, about my best mate - thanks for being so easy to talk to. Although me too just like sitting together in silence, working, reading, watching tele- not feeling you have to talk all the time- thats real friendship too. And to him for being always supportive of me and my decisions, even though i had to take an alternative road for a while :-)

Communication and relationships...

Re: Communication and Relationships

@T1994 That's really good – a mental healthcare plan is really helpful. Feel free to use it to find a suitable counsellor as it is not unusual that things might not click with the first person you speak to. Let us know how you go.

Re: Communication and Relationships

Thanks guys, I have also been using Headspace online chat services. The person I spoke with suggested using 'Cognitive Analytical Therapy' in order to help improve my communication. And similar to Mermaidgirl6, I am a perfectionist and thanks to the way my childhood occured and the pressure placed on me through it, if it isn't 'perfect' my anxiety levels go sky high Smiley Sad