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Coping with heart break

2 days ago my girlfriend of 2 years left me, im only 22 so i know its not going to be my last heart break. I just felt like she was the one we were living together renting and got all this furniture and everythings in my name so im stuck paying off all this shit that reminds me of someone i gave my entire self to to be shown how worthless i am and how pittyless she is. Its only the 3rd day and i feel like the thoughts are a 10 tonne crate of demotivating and deprssing feelings. I wouldnt self harm i did that when i was younger but leaves nothing but scares and shit memories but i think about doing it a lot. I wouldnt have the balls to end my own life as bad as it gets, but being in a near finacial ruin, emotional wreck, and full of anxiety stress and sadness i dont know how to change these thoughts.

I feel stupid for not listening when she said i wasnt listening, i feel arrogant i didnt listen because i felt she wasnt either. I feel hopeless that my anger leads to me saying asshole things i dont mean. I feel lile the more o try stray away from being like my father the quicker i form his personality flaws. I want to be free of my shit negative thoughts but every attempt just leaves me deeper in them. I feel misunderstood  and have for the last 5-8 years and everytime i open up i can never express myself properly. I dont get physical or even verbal in person i jist say dumb comments over text like 'you dont wanna go to a festival with me because youd prefer to be surronnded by boys in your hoe clothes'. That exact sentence is what got me dumped. I dont tbink im a bad person i just think i have a bad mind set. I always expect the worse to subconsciously prepare myself but in reality i feel lile im shaping my fears into real things in my life and causing these bad things to happen in some way. I feel like im generally destined to not be happy. I understand its not always sunshine and i know it doesnt rain forever. But thats the same for people, even the happiest people have experienced and may evem still wear the hurt of bad shit happening to them, whether its physical or mental, past or present. I would give anything to feel understood and happy again not forever or temporary but naturally. I feel like ive lost a massive chunk of my future and almost to the extent i dont want a future without her. But these are alll thoughts that will come and go for weeks, months, a year or more. Its just so hard when you make big plans for the future with someone and you think youre waking up next to and falling asleep with your love of your life, when everything to do with anything reminds you of them,songs, signs, places,smells litterally anything i find a way to relate back to her. I feel so broken but im sure one day ill be at the other end of this dark tunnel looking back in from the light and know why this all happened. Until then i will be confused, upset and miserable. 

Re: Coping with heart break

Hi @Corzadekorn welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend of 2 years left you, it sounds like you a going through a really tough time. Relationship break ups cause us to go through a roller coaster of emotions and in the early stages we can feel lost, trying to find our way again. I can see that you are incredibly self-aware of your own thoughts and feelings. Reaching out during this time takes a lot of courage. I'm wondering if you have spoken to anyone about how you've been feeling or have any support from family or friends? If you find you're struggling, I would recommend contacting eHeadspace, Kids Helpline or Lifeline for some support, they have phone or webchat available. Self-care is really important during this time, I'm wondering what ways you can look after yourself today? We're here for you Heart

Re: Coping with heart break

Hey @Lan-RO

It means a great deal you read my post, i dont know how to exactly keep all these feelings under control so expressing them is hard but when someone actually lostens it feels less hard. I do have people i could talk to but i jist dont feel any of them would understand, my friends and family see me as a happy bubbly guy, im avoiding talking to any family at the moment because i got my, now ex girlfriend, a job with family and theyre all close now i feel like its a bullet i dont think i can bite. I feel like the second a mate isnt by my side or any songs or anything thag reminds me of her takes me right back to the moment she gave up on me. I feel too scared to seek medical professionals advice because i fear the answers just going to tell me im a broken mess which i already know. I want help but doong it face to face or not anonymously i cant help but cry and feel weak and feeling misunderstood or judged or lile im stupid for thinking the way i do or just being told im wrong for being the way i am but i hate the way i am the thought proccesses that take plave in my mind i feel like i am in a never ending battle to just br able to smile and feel like i dont have my world on my back breaking me down day by day. I domt want to be stuck in this slump but i know times the best thing for healing. I have to work.a full time job to pay rent and bills i cant afford myself. I spent 4 and a half years on minimum wage just to be wronged by people and even ones who.were once frienfs to the point im a fully qualified carpenter with nothing going for him but an ever growing debt of money love and happiness. I know it might sound stupid but is hypnotherapy a possibility to forget?

Re: Coping with heart break

Hi @Corzadekorn

The break up sounds like it is really raw for you, and really causing a lot of pain. You mentioned feeling like you can't be how you really feel right now, and are concerned that you might be judged, is this right? I want you to know that, we hear you and we support you to feel how you feel right now- every feeling you are having is completely valid and we are here to listen when you need to talk Heart

 

In your post you mentioned your mates. Have they been supportive of you through this? Are there any distractions that help you to get through those moments when the break up feels most painful?

 

ReachOut has some resources that might be helpful for you about healing after a breakup here and here.

 

To answer the question about hypnotherapy- unfortunately we can't offer medical advice, but I would recommend speaking to a health care professional to access support Smiley Happy

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Re: Coping with heart break

Hi @Corzadekorn, it's been over a week since your breakup and I wanted to check in on you and see how you're doing?
I am very sorry to hear that you are upset and I wanted to see whether the suggestions that @Jess1-RO and @Lan-RO gave you about other places to express your feelings (such as Head Space) were helpful? (if you decided to use them, that is) :cat tongue: If not, I wanted to also suggest writing your feelings down on paper or writing pretend letters to your ex (that you don't actually send, or you can if you want to!).. this helped me through my last break up. 

I hope that you are feeling some what better and that you have people around you to support you through this tough time, and I want you to know I am here for you if you need to vent some more about what you are experiencing at this moment in time Heart