I'm sorry that this has been so hard on you; I hear how tough it must be to lose your 'safe place' especially when it's a safe place that you've helped to build!
I guess one takeaway that's positive is that you know that you CAN feel safe and you CAN find communities that work for you. Leaving is always hard, and grief is a hugely painful emotion. But knowing that we can care enough about something to miss it's absence shows that we can care deeply about people and communities.
Plus, we can always start threads on any issues you think need to be talked about even if othe chats don't end up happening
Would it help to try and chat about something happy? Maybe you could tell me about your surfing plans or about your little sisters and brothers? It's okay if not; I just know that personally I can spiral into worry quite easily and it's often better for someone to distract me with something lighter.
It's so tough to feel unwanted; I struggle with that feeling too, and the feeling of being abandoned is very familiar. I disagree that you're unwanted though; it seems like you're being asked to take a step back, but that doesn't mean you're not still valued or that your contributions haven't been acknowledged. Idk if that makes any sense, I'm sorry, I'm a bit out of it today!
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