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Dealing with Guilt

For me when I’ve had bad breakdown moments with my alcoholism if often forgotten the entire night. And unfortunately in those moments I have don’t something to someone or something that I regret. And the fact that I can’t remember makes the whole thing much worse. 

how do you guys manage your guilt after moments like this? How do you move forward?

Re: Dealing with Guilt

@Wilheim this sounds like it's taking a toll on you.

Could it help to ask the people you were with that night, what happened of if you didn't anything to hurt anyone or to go through your phone to see if you sent or called anyone that you don't remind doing to retrace some of your steps? Could doing something like that help to contact the people you may have hurt to apologise or have an open conversation about it, (this could help them to feel heard and for the both of you to move on when you're both ready)?

Do you think/feel that you have an alcohol addiction or problem or that your drinking habits are a bit out of control or that once you start you just keep going? Have you about trying or beginning the process of quitting?

Re: Dealing with Guilt

Hey @A_Friend 

 

Im currently in the process of quitting and I am getting help (AA and such)

yes I’ve spoken to the people involved and it’s all good. But I more mean the personal guilt. Like the people involved are fine with me but internally I think about what I apparently did. 

does that make sense?

Re: Dealing with Guilt

Yes that make sense. Could spending journalling and forgiving yourself or try to see it from a different perspective help?

Re: Dealing with Guilt

@Wilheim Personal guilt can be terrifying, and I know how it can feel to do something when you're out drinking and not remember, often replaying it in your head for that following week. It is absolutely normal and a lot of people experience the challenges of it, I know I do. It is really great to hear that you are seeking support through AA, is having this experience with likeminded people helpful for you and providing advice? 

Guilt is scary and often hard to face, but by fronting up and acknowledging that you have done something that may have impacted someone else is a massive first step. It sounds like you have already spoken to them and have apologised, which is great, but it extremely important for you to also forgive yourself. I agree with @A_Friend, journaling could be helpful for you to find forgiveness in yourself. Remember that sometimes guilt aims to work best in our favour, as it gives us no choice but to face our fear head on. Heart

Re: Dealing with Guilt

Wow, Thank you so much for your response this is very helpful. I have been finding Journalling to be so fantastic and healing. Really providing me with insight to myself. Today I’m apologising to the last person in the situation so I’m hoping that will hopefully open my mind to positivity. It’s scary and confronting but it is slowly healing my heart. Any more tips people have I’d be happy to hear xo

Re: Dealing with Guilt

@Wilheim I am so happy to hear that you have found it helpful! Sometimes the best thing to do is express it and this can be a perfect place for that. Holding in your guilt can eat away at your mind, so opening up and facing it can change so much for you. 

Journalling is really fantastic, and I am proud of you for trying it out, it's sometimes nice to read over what has been written in that time to put your mind at ease! I think talking to the last person will be a game changer for you, and I would love to hear how that goes after you have spoken to them Smiley Happy

Have you thought about seeing a psychologist or counsellor? Do you think that it could be helpful in having someone to check in and reflect with one on one? 

Re: Dealing with Guilt

Yeah I’m booked in next week with one and am actively seeking help. 

Re: Dealing with Guilt

@Wilheim Amazing to hear you found it helpful. Healing can be scary for sure but glad to hear that you are beginning to and that are getting some professional help. I hope this last apology goes well x