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Dealing with rejection

Hi everyone, 

 

Social rejection sucks. From friends, family, and crushes, rejection can be really hurtful, whether intentional or not. There is evidence to suggest that social rejection and physical pain are felt the same way in the brain.Image result for social rejection gif

 

So I wanted to start a little discussion about how everyone deals with rejection and share some ideas on what we think healthy coping would look like. 

 

For example, the other day I was feeling rejected by some friends. A few years ago my response would have been to ignore the issue or ignore my friends altogether. Instead, this time I just spoke about it and reassured myself that one rejection does not mean I am unloved. 

 

So how do you handle rejection? Do you handle it at all? Do you avoid situations that could lead to rejection? Tell me all about it! Heart

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Re: Dealing with rejection

@Libellule this is such a good idea!! Smiley Happy it can be so easy to jump to the worst conclusion or to feel like you're not likeable when someone rejects you or snubs you!
(i'm definitely guilty of leaping from 'they kinda blew me off" to 'they never even liked me' in about 2 minutes flat)
The way i usually try to combat this really depends on who it is. If it's someone i know well then i try to frame the situation in the context of our relationship, and consider whether or not they might just have been tired etc. Sometimes if it's really bothering me i just ask, so i can deal with it either way. 
If it's someone i don't know well it's a little bit harder, but i try to remember that not everyone has to like me! I'm trying my hardest to be my best self, but i'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok! Chances are everyone else is also worried about what others think Smiley LOL 

Re: Dealing with rejection

Hi @ecla34 these sound like some really healthy strategies! I think it is always important to remember that not everyone has to like you! It can be very upsetting when it is someone that you like or care about that doesn't like you, but even if it hurts you can move on from it and find a friend that does like you! Smiley Happy 

Re: Dealing with rejection

What a great idea @Libellule

 

I used to not deal with rejection at all. I would just sort of pretend everything was fine even though I wasn't feeling great about it.

 

But I have learnt to deal with it directly and talk to the person about it. Sometimes there is no intention to make you feel that way so I think it is important to talk it through!

Re: Dealing with rejection

I hate rejection. It feels crappy. Other people might tell you, “Don’t take it personally.” But the truth is, we take everything personally even if we have skin as thick as an alligator. When I was rejected by the person I loved the most in the world, it was awful. I’ve been trying to find positive ways to deal with it and I found the tips suggested here have helped me. I’m thinking of doing one of their Family Constellation Workshops. If I do I’ll let you know how it goes…

Re: Dealing with rejection

Hi @Libellule feelings of rejection can be terrible and yes it's important to remember that it doesn't mean you are unloved. Good on you for having the courage to talk about it Heart @EricLarry sorry to hear of how you felt by the person you loved most, that must have been really difficult. I'm also going to send you a quick email. 

Re: Dealing with rejection

Hi @EricLarry I'm sorry that happened to you! I'm glad you've found something that is helping. Sometimes it doesn't matter how many positive strategies we have it can still hurt. I would definitely love to hear about the workshop if you go. If you ever need to talk we are always here Heart