Thanks for the replies again guys. Really appreciate all your support. I wasn't necessarily tormented when I was younger, but I obviously received the usual constant teasing that comes with being a fat guy, in middle/primary school, I got bullied quite a bit for being fat but nothing too extreme. As I've mentioned in previous post, In high school I was the funny guy making everyone laugh... I started this as a way of distracting people from teasing me, In high school I was never bullied harshly but the occasional fat guy teasing banter was still evident, nothing too harsh but I blame myself for fearing it and not doing any sports because I didn't wanna get laughed at or teased because I was always one of the fattest and least fit people in the team, so when I didn' finish my laps or something and people laughed, I let it get to me. That fear stopped me from doing so many things I wish I could've done. I didn't do too bad with girls but was always scared to date some girls because people would probably laugh at her for being with me or something. Itd be nice to go back in time and change everything ya know
I'm sorry to hear you've gone through that
Do you date now? Do you still get that fear about what other people might think?
I think everyone in their life at some stage thinks 'what if?' or what it would be like to go back in time and change things but I really feel as though our life experiences make us who we are. You sound like such a nice and empathetic person!
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I didn't work out today 😔 I've been feeling like crap as usual... I don't know why I keep thinking about myself negatively. I always tell myself that I'm not good enough, I'm not attractive enough to get girls, I'm too weak minded to achieve anything of importance, the sad part is that I struggle to find anything false about these statements. I try, I really do try to be positive and have hope that things will eventually change for the better but I just can't help but keep falling into the same pit of self hatred and despair. I often think I'm not meant for this life and I wish it could just end at times, because right now my life is meaningless and I have no purpose in life, I'm just a waste of life... I'm sure anyone else could have done so much with the life I've been dealt but I'm not good enough to do so. It hasn't been my day today
Really nice to meet you mate and sorry to hear that you have hit a rough patch this morning.
I totally get what you are saying about the thoughts and feelings that are pretty intense today but I also love that you are trying to be positive. If you don't mind me asking, what things do you do to remain positive? Is there some process you do?
I know people have mentioned it above, but when you are having these dark thoughts and are being really harsh on yourself have you thought about reaching out to a counselling service by phone or web chat?
I really like @Nick-RO's suggestion about thinking about some positives. I really admire how you are trying to be positive, I know you've been going through a really tough time.
Have you ever spoken to someone about these feelings? Would maybe speaking to a helpline make you feel a bit better when you are feeling low?
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I cannot love myself. It feels so difficult learning to love yourself, all the posts I read about learning to love yourself are all easier said than done. "Simple" steps to love yourself ain't so simple after all. I still feel hopeless at overcoming this way of thinking and feeling and actually laughed at myself in realization that I don't see much positive about myself. I find nothing about myself special or unique in any way.... Why is depression even a feeling... it sucks
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